STORIES
OF HOPE
My name is Daniel and my sobriety date is 9.10.2014.
Life in full, active addiction was governed by fear, anxiety, despair, and desperation. Agony, really.
It didn’t start this way. In the beginning, oh, it was a thrilling adventure. The trouble is that the fatality of this disease came disguised as relief and fun. Drinking began at fourteen years old, and now in sobriety, it’s clear that I drank alcoholically straightaway. Coming to consciousness as a young person in the 1980s, I gained awareness about my sexuality at an early age. Having been raised in the Catholic church, I relished the concept and love of God, songs, stories, ceremonies, and the pageantry of the faith. I even enjoyed CCD and Confirmation classes - and loved posing philosophical questions and exploring topics with our priests. Despite this childhood happiness in the church, it soon became clear that a future life as a gay man was NOT going to go well; most notably, it guaranteed an eternity in Hell. I was a quick study and understood that even expressing a concern about MAYBE liking boys would be self-sabotage. Desperate, I began seeking successful gay role models…and couldnt find anyone. This was before the internet (!), and gay characters on television seemed to be around purely for comic relief or were easily dismissed and ridiculed.
There were no LGBTQ+ characters in the books on my shelf (though later learning that many of
the authors of favorite childhood books were in fact gay, was a delight). What’s more, I would
have DIED before walking up to a librarian or bookseller to ask, "Do you have any captivating books with dreamy, righteous, superpowered gay guys that possess an incredible, unshakable love of the Universe;. My parent;s Encyclopedia Brittanica collection yielded little explanation. I recall looking up the term “homosexual” and heard it on an episode of 20/20 one Friday night. I was hoping to discover a source of scientific knowledge and was instantly crushed when all that was found in the volume was something like “Homosexual - of, or pertaining to, the same sex.” quite amusing now. It certainly was NOT then! How times have changed. My parents were (are) endlessly supportive, but early on I recognized that their life paths were vastly different and I simply did not have the skill set to broach such serious subject matter.
Amidst these internal struggles, the AIDS crisis began to unfold its terrible fury onto the world and was being labeled as “The Gay Cancer” The disease was everywhere – on the news, in the
newspapers, the tabloids, the conversations of my relatives, the chatter at school, and for a
while, there was a great fear that it was transmittable by mosquito bites. Going outside to play meant exposing myself to insects and risking death. Overwhelmed by the enormity of this all,
fear and uncertainty became deeply rooted and I was in anguish for my mortal life and eternal
soul. This fate seemed inescapable: Before entering into an Eternity of Damnation, I was destined for a dark, desolate life, during which I would inevitably become incurably ill and physically ghastly, eventually perishing from a disease that was customized for gay people for our inherent immorality. I was about twelve years old. At this age, “the actor” whom we in recovery sometimes refer, began to appear. Much of life’s
energy went into masking the unspeakable torment just beneath the skin’s surface. It takes an
incredible amount of effort to appear “normal” and I couldn’t share what I was feeling as it
would reveal my true self, and thus, the inevitable horrid life of dejection and alienation I’d
imagined would begin right away. Already the creative sort, I threw myself into drawing,
painting, and reading. I drew, painted, and read, over and over again. I devoured books and lost
myself in the fantastic adventures of the wonderful, complex, and sensitive characters inside. I could see these people - they were my friends - and their magical adventures were as real to me as brushing my teeth, school, and chores. Every straight-A report card, birthday, and
Christmas, my wonderful Mom would drive me to the bookstore (my Wonderland), where I
would proceed to spend hours painstakingly selecting new lifelong friends. Surely, somewhere
in these pages were people like me! My parents encouraged creativity and reading. My father,
the Athletic Director for our school district, before leaving for whatever game we were going to,
would always ask with a smile and a jingle of his keys, “Do you have all of your books” Many
pictures of childhood reveal me peering out from under a book or holding a stack. Equipped
with a flashlight, I read late at night waaay past bedtime and was forever getting busted by my
Mom. I can still hear her voice: “Danny!” she would gasp, “You need to go to SLEEP!”
To this day, my parents are highly social people. They are not drinkers and aside from literally
one or two occasions that I recall, never have been. Ironically, they often received bottles of
premium alcohol for various special occasions from friends and colleagues. As a result, a full bar
was a presence in our home, filled with all types of mysterious spirits, many of which were
years old. When I was fourteen, while Mom and Dad were away for a weekend, in an effort to impress peers, I impulsively snuck out about half a bottle of vodka and drank it at an unchaperoned
neighborhood party. The suffocating fear and anxiety that had become part of everyday life just
VANISHED. My tightly wound shoulders dropped, surprising me with the realization that they
were usually up to my ears with tension. I remember laughing and laughing that night. I was
filled with tremendous relief and felt that the Golden Ticket had just been discovered - like
Charlie Bucket in Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory. Newfound freedom had presented
itself and it was wholeheartedly embraced. I’d found a way to live! And not only would fear be
eliminated, but life was also going to be FUN. Never mind the fact that I was horribly sick later
that night and the next morning - it was easily worth it. I would do better next time. And the
next time. And the time after that. Right then, I secretly vowed to drink forever; after all, it was
the only way and seemed easy enough. You just pick-up something with alcohol and drink…I
could do that blindfolded.
My substance use disorder ebbed and flowed for the next twenty-six years. I got a scholarship
to college to study art and architecture. That first semester of school, I found an LGBT student
group and happily became socially active, excited to be comfortable and safe among people like
me. I made good grades, found excellent friends, studied fascinating things, and even had the
opportunity to study abroad. It was a good life, filled with love, learning, and opportunity. And
also filled with drinking. Unbeknownst to many people, my internal world was a battleground. I
struggled to maintain the goodness in life, and for a while, it seemed to work.
In the year 2000, still suffering from high anxiety, no doubt made worse from drinking, I was
prescribed Xanax by a doctor and was casually told to “be careful” with them because they
were addictive.
“Yeah, yeah,” I thought. “You’re prescribing the pills, how dangerous can they be? You’re a
doctor!” Naively, I had just unknowingly become a statistic in what would later be referred to as
“The Opioid Crisis”. Years passed in this internal war - my body, mind, and soul were the battleground. Thankfully love from family and friends was steadfast. I silently struggled and shared nothing of my condition – I had it “under control.” At a loss for what to do after graduation, I took an exciting job one semester before completing my courses at school – with the intent of returning “after a year of working and figuring it out the next real move.” The actor reigned on, while my truer self bore witness, attempting to instill the love present in life. More time passed and various levels of professional success and money were experienced, all absent from sustainable personal fulfillment. (NOTE: The fact that I worked with some wonderful folks and engaged with lovely clients was a godsend, and I remain grateful for that to this day.) I hungered for the return to the worlds of art, photography, and contributing to creative teams; meanwhile, the
emotional cost of not having finished school ate away at me daily. The life and identity I’d
created were exhausting to maintain, and the fear was always still at hand. Self-worth and self-
esteem were constantly in question. I tried to balance out the darkness with healthy practices
like eating cleanly, running, swimming, and volunteering. By most accounts, I generally
appeared healthy. Of course, drinking and pill popping were influencing my trajectory and had
consequences. In my twenties, I went to jail three times – all alcohol related. Under their
influence, I was quick witted and brazenly sharp tongued, lost a couple of good jobs, forgot
things, behaved recklessly, broke commitments, made unwise choices with personal
relationships (romantic and otherwise), and at my worst, was full of shame, rageful, inconsolably depressed, confused, and helplessly LOST. Eventually, a long relationship ended,
ultimately collapsing from years of dysfunction. I entered an out-patient rehab program for the
wrong reasons – to get out of work. At this point, I didn’t want to die, but I wasn’t keen on living either. I hadn’t yet hit my bottom, but I was close.
Despite myself, I grew very curious about the information presented to us in the out-patient
program, finding much of it fascinating. The more information presented about the science of
substance use disorder, the more my life began to make sense. This wasn’t a moral failure. It made sense that there was no safe way to consume poison, no matter how fancy the glass or how expensive it was. Prescribed medicine could be dangerous (this sounds so naïve now). I learned that “passing out” – something that had been happening almost every night for years – was the body’s defense mechanism to prevent any more toxins from entering the body; that is, the body was rendering itself unconscious in order to survive. I was AMAZED. Additionally, countless themes within the stories we shared as patients were compelling – and so very familiar. I enjoyed the sessions and marveled how in some ways, they were like taking a college class, only in this case, with urine tests. I drank and took pills for almost two more years – at as heavy as before the program, though the most miserable in many ways, and necessary to reach bottom and receive “the gift of
desperation.”
The circumstances that led to my recovery were many. After the time as an outpatient, changes
in people, places, and things began taking place. I had begun to reexamine many aspects of life
and live from a place of gratitude. Newly single, I began branching out, doing things like joining
a book club, volunteering with personally meaningful causes, becoming active in healthy,
socially conscience communities. These groups were filled with sincere, caring, mature, and
joyful people. Healthy, fun, smart folks. They did cool things and followed through on their
word. It was welcome, far cry from bar life. I eventually started attending 12 step group
meetings and making friends there. My days were brighter. Nights grew quieter. The high, feverish pitch of a painful life was slowly reducing. Still, I was using, but the pull was weakening. I understood so much more now about the disorder and the possibilities of a healthy life. At one point in 2014, I began seeing a handsome English friend who’d had six years sober. I learned more about his journey and was moved by his perseverance. He knew about my struggles/recent life developments and was supportive, patient, and understanding. One Saturday night, he suggested that we attend a “Birthday Night” at Lambda Center Houston - a
beautiful center established for the support of the LGBTQ+ community either in, or seeking, recovery. By now, I was already in love with Lambda and quickly agreed to go. Birthday Night is a brilliant custom that involves people celebrating annual milestones (“birthdays”) in recovery within a particular month. Upon the announcement of their sober-birthday date, the celebrant gets up, goes to the podium, receives a hug and a sobriety chip, and usually shares a little about their journey thus far. It was my first Birthday Night and it was a BLAST. So funny, incredibly touching, sincere, and heartfelt. In many cases, I felt that I had already known these people for a long time – and that they knew me. The things that these people shared were incredible, in some cases, even unbelievable. The strength within their stories reminded me of the heroic, fantastic journeys from the books of my childhood and adolescence. I was spellbound. At one point in the evening, a person celebrating their first year of sobriety got up to the front and
shared. I identified with everything that she said, from the second she started to the moment she ended. Right then and there, I wholeheartedly resolved to begin the journey into a healthy,
sober life. A short time later, I reached out to some new friends and family. In a heartbeat, my dad drove into town, and I re-enrolled in another out-patient program – this time to end the use, address past and present pain and issues, get sober, and reclaim my body, life and soul. One moment at a time, one day at a time. My life has changed in fundamental ways in sobriety. Recently, I read a quote by Joseph Campbell that read “I don’t believe that people are looking for the meaning of life so much as the feeling of being alive.” I am alive in ways that are simply not possible without recovery and community! The feelings and acts of connectedness and gratitude have been foundational in my daily program. These things manifest in myriad ways, one of the first being that I no longer feel sentenced to another day of life in sickness and helplessness. Mostly, days are joyful, and when they are not, that’s okay too. Life can be enjoyed as it presents itself in real time. Once
enslaved by substances, I am not a slave to my emotions either. I developed and tuned skills to
right-size challenges and reach out when in need of perspective and support. Today, life is filled
with good council and populated with people that have my best interests in heart.
Unmistakably, I am here for them too – as a better son, brother, friend, partner, team member,
and even pet daddy! Once fearful that being sober would hinder my creativity, today I produce
artwork with a zeal and gusto that hadn’t appeared in years. Notably, in the fourth year of
sobriety, I re-enrolled in school at Texas A&M University - College Station and finally completed
my undergraduate Global Art and Design degree. Turns out, I’m a MUCH better student with
good health and experience! I became immersed in the studies and pursued my passion for
Interdisciplinary Media, Art, and Photography (in my case, digital illustration combined with
original photography). I got 4.0! Additionally, during the year back at school, I became one of
the founding officers for the Aggie Recovery Community – a student organization for Aggies
either in or seeking recovery. It was a privilege to work alongside such capable students, faculty, and even addiction scientists. We worked with other estimable organizations and attended sober student conferences – I had NO IDEA of the magnitude of the sober student culture across US college campuses and it was wholly inspiring. This opportunity to live shamelessly and visibly in order to offer support and information was a tremendous blessing. Had such resources been available in my previous time as a student, my life’s trajectory may
have been forever changed, and it was our mission to actively and positively represent a sober
student community. The Aggie Recovery Community even held the first ever Sober Tailgate at
the University and it was wildly successful – our motto summed it up: “Good. Clean. Fun.”
Another hallmark of today’s healthy life was a recent trip to Big Bend with my adventurous,
supportive, and nature-loving boyfriend. Together, we hiked the Outer Mountain Loop trail – a
33 mile journey that took us a few days. In the throes of illness, just something like getting a
glass of water or answering the phone seemed very difficult, or at least, inconvenient. And yet,
there in Big Bend, under the Sci-Fi skies, I found myself carrying a 40lbs backpack for miles over
challenging terrain, very dusty and happily chomping on fruit leathers. Exhausted, we fell asleep under violet blankets of stars. It was exhilarating, something that NEVER would have happened without recovery. This shared mission of bright sobriety continues to live on in me in all aspects of life as I walk this path with dedication, sincerity, compassion, and integrity. I was honored to be asked to contribute some of the story of my experience, strength, and hope with We Are Those People. And I’m forever grateful to be sober today! Wishes of health and happiness for us all.
My name is Lissy, I live in San Rafael, CA and I have been free from active addiction since November 7, 2019. I had tried so many times before this date to stop and never could. I cried endless tears pleading with myself to stop, begging myself to just not use, but it had me, this monster, this disease, it had me. I had resigned to believing I was hopeless, that life had passed me by, that I would be stuck in the endless cycle of the starting, the getting high, and the trying to stop. It was hell on earth and I felt like the walking dead. My moral compass was shattered and the things I did to feed my addiction just got progressively worse.
At one point I remember thinking “I’m not that bad, I still have my job” and then I lost that too. I lost everything. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror, my family and friends wanted nothing to do with me, I was no longer employable, and I hated myself. I was dying a slow death and I saw no way out. I was surrounded by darkness and It just kept getting darker. In the end I felt as though I was underneath this massive tidal wave looking up at the crest, bracing for impact, knowing it was literally moments until this incredible larger than life force would annihilate me and I was frozen, unable to get out of the way. That is what addiction felt like for me. What happened for me, though, was when that wave crashed in to me and shattered the miserable existence I was living; it shattered my resistance to change as well. For the first time realizing I was completely broken and beat down, I surrendered. That moment I believe is what grace is. It is a tiny window that presents itself quickly and it closes fast. I leapt through with blind faith, willing for the first time to let go of everything I thought I knew. From that willingness, came hope. Through the help and
support of others who had overcome active addiction themselves I learned that surrender didn’t mean giving in or giving up, it meant letting go of personal control in order to gain personal peace. From a state of total darkness and despair I began to see a little light. I stopped trying to think my way sober and began to live my life in recovery. What I started to gain was rich, beautiful, colorful and what living is meant to be. I developed a deep spiritual connection to a higher power of my own understanding that I rely on today and that I turn to for guidance and direction. I used to think I would miss being checked out, that feeling of not caring, I used to equate that with feeling free. However, I wasn’t free, I was a slave to an addiction that wasn’t going to ever let me go. Today I wouldn’t want to miss a moment of my life, today I am totally checked in. I am so grateful for the opportunity to share my story with you, my story of hope and I appreciate you taking the time to read it. Please know you are never alone, as dark, lonely and terrifying as it may be, please know there are hands waiting to grab yours. Just reach out. I wouldn’t be here today if there weren’t. Sending you love and hope.
"My name is Chris, my sobriety date is 02/08/1989. I started drinking at the ripe old age of 11. Growing up, I felt that I was damaged. Something shifted within me the first time I got drunk- I no longer felt broken or damaged. I felt safe and protected. Alcohol gave me the relief I needed. So, I relentlessly chased the relief I found in alcohol. I soon realized that once I started drinking, I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to. It took a while for me to acknowledge the severity of my drinking and the hard truth that I had an adverse reaction to alcohol. I was the textbook example of the two characteristics of this illness: I had a physical allergy and a mental obsession. I couldn’t drink successfully, and yet I couldn’t NOT drink. I realized very quickly that simply giving up alcohol wouldn’t fix me. Without something to replace the alcohol, I became a dehydrated lunatic. For the next six years, my life became a vicious cycle of crime, violence, jails, and institutions. I was crippled by horrific loneliness and fear of people. In hindsight, I now see how God was working in the last months of my drinking. The desperation I experienced helped me see myself as I really was. I never realized that facing reality would lead me to a life beyond anything I could have dreamed. A man named Bobby Crocker took me through the 12 steps and helped me connect to God. It was this spiritual connection that removed my obsession to drink. Bobby, who has passed on, taught me how to be a man in recovery. He taught me my drinking wasn’t based on life circumstances and instead, my sobriety depends on my willingness to enlarge my spiritual life and work with others. In recovery, I have been married, had children, divorced, made money, lost money and developed a career. I have lost people and gained people in my life, and I’ve periodically dealt with depression. Today, I have been placed in that position of neutrality - safe and protected. I have two beautiful daughters that get to grow up with a sober father. Believing and trusting in my connection with God keeps me on my road to recovery, and it’s been an incredible ride.”
“It’s a beautiful day to be alive. My name is Frank and my drug of choice is resentment, Low self-esteem, Finances, romances, anger, pity, pain, sorrow, and I could definitely mainline some fear and ego. Today, I am a member of the no matter what club, I was a spectator doing it my own way for over 45 years I stepped in these rooms in 1983 my first meeting Cedars Sinai Athens Sunday night meeting 6 to 7, with my mother Devra De Marco Who at 28 years went into a stroke in the afternoon Tuesday meeting on Hayworth and Melrose & Was blessed with her rights as an angel to depart with the spirits we place in our program. I beg you to be fearless from the start for I am a living amends to her. I’m not gonna tell you I haven’t struggled these five years because a true surrender in this program in taking your first step should be internalized as are the other 11. I live the steps of this program ever reminding me to place principles before personalities. November 19th 2015. All credit to God. And believing I can let go & let someone else direct me other then my self. Yes God is good and if your struggling in your life and need help. #DM me @oglepke I was taught to help others so I will remain humble to myself and yes it definitely is getting better, so in reality all I’m truly celebrating is today. A good friend pulled my coat tail in my first year & said “Frank, where are you at with God and who are you helping. Hector Morales. RIP. Thank you for listening and being part of my recovery. Last but not least, a support system is very valuable in addition I had to change one thing and that WAS EVERYTHING. I thank my family for never giving up and loving me until I could definitely learn to love myself. With that being said have an amazing day, if nobody told you they love you today Big Frank Most definitely does. One day at a time. “
“Hey y’all! My name is Shannon (she/her) my Sobriety date is 9/25/2017. I reside in Petaluma Ca. My road to recovery was paved with trauma, heartbreak, lies and finally triumph. I got sober the first time at the tender age of 17 finding a community in the Hardcore and Oi music scene of the San Francisco Bay Area. It was within that world I found the power of community and helping one another. I abstained for years without a recovery program. I was far to anti-system for that. But I was a horrible dry drunk. After years of abstinence I found solace again in Bottles and Pills. It became my everything. My mental health has always been a struggle and drinking and using compounded the issue leading me to a place of suicidal fantasies and eventual institutions. I was no longer using to survive I was using to die. I entered the rooms of 12 step 09/25/2017 broken lost and delusional. Six months later I found @refugerecovery which completely changed my life. I choose to battle my demons by finally seeking treatment for my mental health, Not only did I have a substance addiction but an eating disorder, codependency and the inability to accept my own role in the pain I caused. As a friend says “ 12 step taught me to say I am sorry , Refuge taught me to live in a way I no longer need to apologize for “ I devoted myself to this program. I now have a path to live freely, causing no harm to another or myself . If you are struggling today know that it will pass. The feelings will pass. Hold strong. This is a path of warriors. And there is nothing we cannot overcome. As for me… still a proud member of the hardcore / Oi world, Dharma Nerd, plant based, activist and all around goofy ass human being. In a world that accepts drinking and recreational drug use, it is up to us to Rebel and be the best versions of ourselves.”
Shera Eichler, Advocate/ activist for Mental Health and SUD. "This isn’t just a super badass tshirt, my friends. This is a movement & I am on board! I am so proud to support @wearethoseppl and it’s founders Erika and @frankball. Why do I feel so passionate about this? Those who know me KNOW I don’t shy away from talking about the “taboo” “off-limits” topic of mental health. Pull up a chair any day and I will freely talk about panic disorder, depression, anxiety, bulimia/anorexia, postpartum depression, self-harm, substance abuse, alcoholism, you name it, because I’ve either lived it or someone around me has been destroyed by it. I am willing to bet my life that every single person reading this has been impacted by it, too. And what I have learned is that those who have risen beyond mental health challenges are among the toughest, most fascinating, creative, and resilient people I know! I firmly believe their pain, tragedy, and healing offer the most colorful brush strokes to this painting we call life. Why? Because they are real. Authentic. Bearing the most intriguing stories of heartache, tragedy and — by the grace of God or a higher power — rebirth. I am proud to call many of them my dearest loved ones, family members, colleagues, and best friends. But back to why I love “We Are Those People.” It’s an organization that reflects exactly what I aim to do in my every day life — but with a much broader and creative platform! WATP’s mission is to remove the stigma of substance/alcohol abuse and addiction by enabling those in recovery to tell their stories and provide hope to others. I challenge you to visit their IG page and read each & every story. It is the ultimate patchwork quilt of the most beautiful, colorful, and uniquely-patterned pieces of fabric and I guarantee you will see threads of your own loved ones woven into these stories."
@sobersammyyy “WE ARE THOSE PEOPLE” - A nonprofit changing the narrative of Addiction Recovery & Mental Health. We are recovering loudly so others don’t die silently!I personally know @erikaball73 and @frankball and they have helped me when I didn’t know how to help myself. They are genuine people wanting to show that there is a better way and truly care about anyone reaching out for help. Show some love and support for their incredible efforts to help those suffering. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your sober family and inspiring me to share my story. Check out their page and their mini docu-series to learn more about them!
“My name is Rachel, my sobriety/ clean date is 02/13/2017. Once upon a time, I went to prison. (Well, twice upon a time, actually, but I digress...) Yes, me: Rachel. Your aunt, cousin, neighbor, crush, co-worker, friend: Went. To. Prison. The sole reason I ever even *considered* visiting incarcerated individuals or volunteering my time is simple: I know what it's like to be there. To be alone. To be cut off from all you know and love. To follow the path of destruction, addiction, crime, and debauchery to it's logical conclusion. To be incarcerated. I went to prison. Not once, but twice. By choices of my own making, I created a life of desperation and isolation. I left my children, destroyed my life - and theirs - in search of something, anything, to numb my pain. I went to #prison, and I am not ashamed to show you what that looked like. To show you the cost of hiding: the result of a pain so big I could no longer even imagine a life with me in it. This is who I was. How I coped. But, I found a way out. I learned how to overcome my #traumas instead of letting them swallow me whole. I learned to find healing. I've done this slowly, and imperfectly, surrounded continually by the love and support of those my Higher Power saw fit to bless me with. When I fell, I had a support system to help me back up. When I floundered, love lifted me. Did you know my whole story? Did you even suspect? Does it skew how you see me? Change what you think of me? If it doesn't; if you can still see me for me, and understand that I am a person worthy of love and respect, then, know this: Every #addict you come across, every #incarcerated individual, every #homeless person has the potential to BECOME healed and whole. Every. Single. Fucking. ONE. And, the bridge between that Rachel and this? Between those you vilify and who they could become? LOVE, bitches. LOVE.” Please check out Rachel’s memoir “Against Such Things: A Memoir of Trauma, Addiction, and Survival” available now on Amazon in both paperback and Kindle versions.”
"My name is David, I’m a recovering Heroin & methadone addict. I stopped using heroin in August 2008 & methadone May 2010. I grew up in a small city in southern Ontario, Canada in a very loving family. As a young man in my 20’s I chose a life & profession that contributed to a drug problem that infested the city I grew up in & in time my profession led me down the path to using heroin. Over 3yrs of using I tried to clean up twice but didn’t remove myself from my environment & couldn’t stay clean. On my 3rd attempt I tried the methadone program but unfortunately I fell into the trap of believing it was socially acceptable because a doctor prescribed it- I used it as nothing more than a crutch, abusing both drugs for two more years. After 5yrs of being hooked on shit I walked away from the life I was living & was able to stop using smack, a few years after I kicked the methadone. It took me all of my 30’s to get right with my life & the impacts of my addiction- I learned a real skill, paid my debts, dialed into my health and finally forgave myself for the things that I have done. Now, at 40, I am a husband to a beautiful woman with the soul of an angel. We own a home in one of this countries most beautiful & peaceful areas-northern Ontario, Canada. I earned an advanced diploma in Construction Engineering/Architecture & I am consistently growing in a career I never dreamed was possible. I now have a life of substance that I can reach out & touch- a life that can’t be taken from me for choices I’ve made. Before I cleaned up I was just a shell- an empty soul with zero lust for life & a truck load of regret. After addiction & recovery I’m in love with me again, I’m in love with life again. I can look my mother in the eyes again & be present in her love- for me, this is the best part of being clean. No longer do I have doubt for the future or look to the past with regret, but rather, I look to the future with intent & purpose.
For anyone struggling to get through the day please know that standing up to your addiction IS NOT impossible, I am living proof. Take a leap of faith on the first step of recovery, what ever avenue that may be.“
My name is Alexa Melhado and my clean date is 9/22/2009. I’m a behavioral health consultant and have a custom cake business. I live in Cherry Hill, NJ, about 15 minutes from Philadelphia, PA. I got clean in a 12 step fellowship, which I am still involved in, out of the embarrassment from getting “found out”. The jig was up. The game was over. The “secret” behavior had come to light. My best friend, the drugs, had turned on me a long time ago, but I just couldn’t say goodbye. Someone I cared about deeply found my stash and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to “successfully use” anymore. The truth was that I so desperately wanted the circus to end; to live a life free from active addiction. I told myself everyday that tomorrow I am going to stop, or Monday, or Sunday. Then tomorrow would come, and I was trapped in a cycle of self-abuse that I could not get out of. I would cry on the way to get drugs. Not many people can understand the twisted paradox that is wanting to stop doing something, but being truly incapable of operating outside of the obsession and compulsion of the behavior. “Why can’t you just stop?”. Everything I did was to keep the lie going, keeping up appearances so that I could be with my best friend. It was like working two full time jobs. The situations I would put myself in to get the next high became riskier, stranger, more emotionally, spiritually, and financially expensive. The drugs were just a symptom of my illness. Underneath substance abuse was a tornado of fear, self-obsession, anxiety, NO self esteem, NO self worth, a lifetime of sleepless nights, internal panic, and worry. I was operating from a response to all the traumas I had endured. I was bullied when I was younger and was told things about myself that were not true: I did belong anywhere, I was not accepted anywhere, I was not smart enough, pretty enough, equipped enough, thin enough, etc. When I started using drugs, I found that I could achieve peace, even for just a little while. After all, I had earned the right to use, however I wanted that look: pills, alcohol, powders, chemicals. If people were in my shoes, feeling the way I did my entire life, then they would understand. I truly felt I was entitled to doing what I was doing, and anyone or anything that came in between me and my best friend was an inconvenience, and they gotta go. I did not know anyone who successfully got clean and stayed clean. I perceived that anyone in the recovery process must have endured incarceration, homelessness, or both. I did not experience those things. I had a master’s degree, had a full time job in behavioral health, paid my own bills, and no one except for a handful of people who enabled me knew what was going on. Therefore, I thought I must be okay. Why should I go to meetings? I’m not like “them”. I went to my first meeting and the range of feelings I endured were intense. What I observed were people who did not reflect the picture I painted of someone in recovery. There were people from all walks of life and all ages: bus drivers, teachers, doctors, lawyers. They were sharing about their stories, and what was going on in their lives today. They were staying clean through unimaginable circumstances. I could not believe anyone had the clean time they said they did. I did not trust them because I did not trust myself. I did not like them because I did not like myself. I judged them because I judged myself. I stayed quiet throughout the meeting and left early so that no one would try to talk to me. I left telling myself I did not belong. Yet, the next day, I found another meeting and kept going to more. I started to look forward to going to meetings and planned my days around going to ones that I liked. I started to raise my hand and saying my name. It must have been my first spiritual awakening when someone remembered my name, and asked me how I was. It was not a common name then, and mostly I was accidentally called variations of my name like Alexis or Alex. So, when someone said my name, it meant the world to me. Eventually, it became more enjoyable to be clean than to be caught in the grips of addiction. The days turned into months and I then achieved my first year clean. It was an emotional celebration. I had gotten involved in the fellowship that first year and made friends. I helped start a meeting. I celebrated 365 days clean at that meeting. There were balloons, presents, flowers, and friends from far away came to hear me speak. The feeling I had that night still gives me chills when I think about it now. It was greater than ANY high I had experienced and that’s a fact. I stayed involved in recovery by continuing to attend meetings and taking commitments. Little by little, I had experienced what self esteem must feel like. A sense of pride for doing what I dreamed of, day by day: staying clean. The process of the 12 steps helped me inventory me. My life. My choices. My relationships. My experiences. My indiscretions against others and myself. I started to see patterns and I started to understand and trust in a power greater than myself who I realized was there all along. I practiced tapping into that source, praying to give thanks, praying to receive support, to receive guidance, to be of service to others. I had unimaginable opportunities since I’ve been clean. My whole world opened up. I became exposed to methods of ceremony and prayer in an attempt to continue the deepest work on myself possible. I have been to the most beautiful places I have ever seen. I have become acquainted and inspired by the most beautiful souls I ever have met. I discovered I had talents as an artist that I didn’t know I had before. I found an outlet for creativity. Besides all of the apparent beauty, and me transforming physically into a healthier version of myself, I made many mistakes. I repeated the same mistakes. Sometimes I hurt others, and sometimes I hurt myself. Sometimes I trusted others and got burned. Yet, as I reflect on all of these things, I realize it was all laid out for me all along. Every step I ever took and will take has been divinely planned. I learned to trust my process, to trust THE process. I learned how to sit with myself, through discomfort, and all the trials and tribulations, without having to self-medicate. I learned to be brave, and take chances, to step outside my comfort zone. Life today can feel complicated but it’s mostly a beautiful and privileged experience. Not because of some financial freedom or that everything is perfect, but because for this moment, I do not have to use drugs to get through the day. I know true freedom. I have coping skills to manage mental health. I have opportunities to travel and put myself in environments that foster challenges with the greatest rewards. I have people in my life that see who I am, the good and the bad. For this sacred moment, I remember that I am so small in the grand scheme of things, and there is comfort in that. As this life is so fleeting, I feel so blessed to have essentially lived two lives in one: pre-recovery life and in the process of recovery life. "
My name is Cheyenne Randall, my sober date is 7/27/2018. I’m an artist working out of Sacramento, California. The first time I got sober it lasted two years, from the time I was 21 until the time I was 23. I was the most responsible I had ever been in my life. I can remember writing rent checks and putting them in the mail a week before they were due. I had a closet full of climbing and camping gear that I used regularly. I can remember thinking I was too young for sobriety and even though it had been a good run…I went back out. For the 17 years that followed I went down a road of constant relapse. My use spiraled into harder and harder substances. I never dealt with the loss of my father as a teenager and then I lost my best friend in my mid twenties. Never seeking the appropriate help to cope with my losses, I went deeper and deeper into my addictions. Every person that let me into their life in one way or another had to endure the taxing episodes of me losing everything over and over and over again. I would often think to myself, “this has GOT to be my bottom!?” Endless geographicals, constantly ending up back at my mothers house, running from an eviction or a broken heart. Insane benders that would drain my bank account in a single night, conning anyone that came to mind for a few bucks, never being able to show up to anything. I would often romanticize about that closet full of climbing and camping gear. Sometimes I’d even put my life back together just enough that it started to resemble those sober days, only to lose it all in the snap of a finger. It can go on for years and decades like this; like there’s an entity that we can’t see and their food source is our toxic life as an addict. That entity keeps us alive just enough to feed it but not enough to shake it and it doesn’t give a shit if it’s got us for a life time or if we drop dead. That thing will just move on to the next miserable sucker. Probably one of the hardest things to live with was the sense of failure. In my life I had overcome so many hurdles before I had even put a bottle to my lips. I hid most of my use, although I’m sure I wasn’t fooling many. For the longest time I was able to keep my exterior put together, I had carved out a little spot for myself as an artist in this world but on the inside I couldn’t even acknowledge it. I couldn’t enjoy any of my achievements, I was numb. The guilt and shame had built a prison around me. Eventually I stopped eating. I shut myself in and lived on a diet of drugs and alcohol. In July of 2018, after suffering a near death experience from a spider bite, I started to have a number of spiritual manifestations that where jarring. Many of them too supernatural to even bother trying to explain, but what was shown to me was this: I had come to the end of the line. Everything in my life had come to this one surreal moment. I could hit the eject button or I could see what life was really about. I could make my ancestors proud rather than seek their pity. Getting sober saved my life, my relationships and allowed me to start to repair what once felt impossible. Shit, just today as I write this, I got my final warrant quashed. It’s taking time to iron it all out but I’m grateful for the journey, the hard work and humility.
“My name is Don Radon , I first stepped into an AA meeting on November 11, 1987. Since then I’ve accumulated a great deal of experience of what to do and, more importantly, what not to do. I grew up in Canada but got to Texas as quick as I could. I have a great family and I am the proud father of the sweetest little girl the world has ever known. I love being a father. I have a progressive, fatal illness that has no known cure. It has cost me dearly and those that love me greatly. But because of a loving God and spiritual program of action I have recovered from addiction/alcoholism and I have devoted the rest of my life to helping as many sufferers that I can. Because I have been set free to spend much of my time educating the public, doing talks for colleges, churches and community groups. I work professionally for one of the leading treatment centers in the nation and I volunteer my time to those who are incarcerated in the county and state penal system. I do not do this for any other reason then it brings joy to my heart to bring hope to the hopeless.”
Don is the Founder of “Recovered and Free” a treatment facility for men located in Hubbard, Tx. See their website at https://recoveredandfree.com/ for more information.
“My name is Danny. My sober date is December 10, 2017. When I look back on those years, before recovery changed the trajectory of my life, I am overcome with gratitude. The rooms, along with the many men and women who so lovingly lent a helping hand along the way, helped a seemingly hopeless young man piece back together the tatters of a broken life. I was lost. I was suicidal. I was constantly alone and in the dark. Perhaps worst of all, myaddiction drove me to commit egregious acts in direct contradiction of my true nature--I lied, I stole, I manipulated, I hurt anyone who got in the way of getting what I felt I desperately needed. That is simply not who I am; it is not the man my mom raised me to be. Recovery reminded me to live by principles--like hope, faith, honesty, and service to others. Most of all, it opened my eyes to the beauty and wonder of the world that always existed around me. Addiction has a way of keeping us in the dark. I constantly remind myself every day that, no matter what comes my way or how bumpy this new road at times may seem, I’m still farther than I’ve ever been from the darkest point in my life. It puts things into perspective. Today, I work as a personal trainer in Los Angeles. I also teach fitness classes at drug and alcohol treatment centers in the area. Fitness became a very useful tool in my recovery and I try to instruct others on the utility of movement and exercise. I have an apartment in Santa Monica that I share with my beautiful and supportive girlfriend of two years. I have a car. I pay my bills. I sponsor other men in recovery. I have meaningful and loving conversations with my family. No longer does my mom go to sleep in constant worry. There is trust and there is peace of mind. These are, to me, the greatest gifts recovery can give. These are gifts that were so freely given to me--gifts I intend to earn and pay forward for the rest of my life.”
“My name is Robin B., and my sobriety date is 4/1/2015. For years, I truly led a double life that looked so much better on the outside than how I felt on the inside. Alcohol provided me comfort during difficult times in my toxic first marriage while contributing to it’s destruction at the same time. When my marriage fell apart and my kids began acting out, I divorced, relocated thousands of miles away, and remarried. My life’s second chapter was much different. As newlyweds, my new husband and I had fun! However, I knew myself too well and started to worry when I couldn’t remember events from the night before and sometimes found myself shaky in the morning. During this time, there seemed to be one crisis after another with my kids, and we were introduced to an Alternative Peer Group for support. While I watched my kids and the others in the program taking their recovery seriously, I got honest with myself and got sober too. Through our involvement in the APG I learned how to trust the recovery process for myself and my children. I discovered that my drinking was greatly triggered by my addiction to OPP…Other People’s Problems. Since working on my recovery as both an alcoholic and a family member, I now experience genuine peace in my relationships because I have learned to take care of myself first. My husband and I are genuinely best friends, and my kids seem to like me despite the boundaries I have learned and applied with them. Because of recovery, we have a deeper, more authentic, relationship now and I never take that for granted. Now, I coach families through the early recovery process, and my husband and I plan to move to the NW where I will be helping to develop an APG in Seattle. I’m excited to bring my experience and hope to families who are struggling.
“My name is Seija, I have been sober since April 10, 2015. (2020 days) I live in the Denver Metro area. Working a journey of recovery and staying sober doesn't give me an automatic “life will always be rainbows and unicorns” card. In fact, through my first three years of sobriety, I went through more difficult life stuff than I ever had before. My Dad passed away 5 days before I had a year of sobriety. I remember calling someone to tell them and their response was, "Just don't drink over it." It was funny though, that thought had not even crossed my mind. This was one of the first really hard life situations in which I realized I didn't need a drink to make it through. I knew that the work I had been doing during that first year was going to be the solution to anything I was going through – a solution that, again, seemed to have only ever been at the bottom of a bottle before. My hope by sharing my story is this: if only one person finds one small piece that gives them enough strength to keep going, enough faith to know that life can (and does!) get better—I want you to know that your life is worth living. Know that you are worth it. We all are. We're in this together, one day at a time.”
“My name is Renee Cooper. My clean date is 3/24/2014. My life before recovery was empty sad and lonely. I felt like I had no purpose. I used to dream of the day I would get my life back. I went through so much heartache. I have an NA foundation and now follow A Faith Based program. I didn’t have Jesus before but now I do. God did what I couldn’t do for myself. He allowed me to go to prison 4 months pregnant so I could sit down and face reality because denial was my comfort zone and where I stayed. I immediately started reading the Bible changing my language (cuss words) and cleaning up my thoughts and compulsive behaviors. I started choosing the right way to do things. I went into a year long program after being released from prison and it was the best choice ever. Since then, I met my husband we bought a home had a baby and today we are living that life I use to dream of.
My advice to anyone struggling, it’s never too late and God doesn’t make any mistakes. You can use your story to help others. Also, just because you may have a record doesn’t mean you can’t get a job. God is good and He can restore your life to better than before you took that first drug or drink of alcohol.”
“My name is Paxton D. and I am an alcoholic & addict. I was born in Hanover NH and grew up in Northfield MN and Rochester NY. My parents were educated professionals and my addiction was much like diabetes; if it runs in your family you’ll probably get it OR you can live so foul that you create it, I was the latter. I experienced racism in Minn and rejection in NY thus I discovered what would make me cool and accepted... drugs. Me in my addiction allowed me to ruin opportunities with the Police Dept due to corruption, miss my father’s last words due to negligence, create an Escort Service due to non existent morals and lowered standards, and live under a bridge due to fear of accountability. I consumed any drug that would take me far from the Earth and enable me to tolerate my maladaptive behavior. I started using at 12, and at 26 entered treatment. I was introduced to rehab and the 12 steps. I did the steps, obtained a sponsor with a sponsor, stayed out of relationships for a year, rediscovered my belief system and found my place in life. At 2 yrs sober I lost my son but stayed sober. Today I’m 46 years old with two daughters, an awesome ex-wife, an awesome girlfriend, a consulting firm, I work in recovery and became an ordained minister and senior deacon of Freemasonry. I have a personality disorder that helps me to avoid feelings but I can tear up when I say “I am doing better than I deserve” EST: 5/2/2001 ::DO NOT DEFEND WHAT YOU’RE CHANGING FROM::” @dickersonpaxton @mechanicsofrecovery
“My name is Kelsie, my sobriety date is September 23, 2015. I stumbled into the rooms many years ago and although I did not have a graceful journey I had an unquenchable desperation for freedom. It wasn’t until five years ago when I finally was able to quench my broken spirit with a life free from self. My family has disowned me, I had no friends to help me, and I was alone. I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror because of the hate I felt towards myself. This program taught me to love myself my life today is beyond my wildest dreams. Through the 12 steps and fellowship I was able to become the woman I am today. I am happy, my family and I get along, I have people in my life that are supportive and caring. I have a sponsor I trust and can be honest with. And when I feel the temptation to use or drink I can turn to this program and work through that. One of the most important lessons I learned in this program is that it’s OK to ask for help and accept help. You are not alone."
“Hi my name is Coop and I am a recovering addict. My clean date is January 16, 2009. While growing up in poverty, I identified the drug dealers as role models because they did not appear to be struggling like my family was. At a very young age, I started selling and experimenting with drugs. The drugs gave me the courage that I needed, the instant gratification of not caring what other people thought about me was invigorating. I was not good at selling drugs, as I would always be going in my stash to feed my own habit; a wise man once said, “A monkey can’t sell bananas.” At one point, I tried to quit but I never done the inside work that is required for Serenity. Treatment didn’t work because I went right back to the hood, right back to the hustle, right back to THE TRAP! It wasn’t until I went to prison that I could truly change my life, you see, I needed that geographical change to get started. Prison save my life, yeah that’s right I said it. While in prison, I completed treatment and began working on myself in a 12 step program. I continued going to the meetings when I got out and even became a counselor. I love helping people. Now, I am a statewide organizer and system disruptor, paving the way for returning citizens to have a smoother reentry process so that they can stay home with their loved ones and never go back to prison again. I am grateful for the gift of recovery that God Almighty gave me.”
"Before I got sober, I couldn't stand being in my own skin for even 1 second of the day. Every single day was like groundhog's day. Besides the fact that all of my friends around me were either dying, committing suicide, or headed into or out of prison, I Chose to continue on this destructive path. Thankfully what I know to be as my creator, didn't allow me to die that way. Towards the end of my 10 year heavy addiction, I finally decided that I was wanting to get some help, and I started reaching out to a treatment center in Florida. That was the scariest and also the best day of my life, because I finally made my way into treatment. I spent 2 months at the facility, where at one point had a 27 minute long seizure, in which the doctors were ready to medically induce me into a coma, and slept for 4 days straight. I also met some of the most wonderfully loving people in my life, and for the first time in what seemed like forever, I was fired the fuck up!!! When I came home, I decided that my life was now to revolve around service work and helping others. Unfortunately I became what's known as "a dry drunk" for quite some time and continued to white knuckle it in absolute misery until I found the man who became my sponsor and walked me hand in hand through this journey to where I am today. I try and live my life as best i can to be as good a husband I can be to the most beautiful woman in the world, and to be the best father I can be to the most sweet and compassionate young man. I truly feel blessed. And on top of all of these blessings stated above, I am able to give today and not take. I get to see what I can pack into the stream of life for the better. And just for today I get to show up for the people that need me the most. My advice to anyone who is hurting or hopeless is to belive that better days are possible and totally available. I want YOU to Truly believe in your heart that the pain gets bearable and that there are people all over the entire world that would drop what they were doing for the opportunity to show up to serve you. There is ultimately an easier and softer way, and this too shall pass. "
“My name is Leena. My sobriety date is 11/16/15. My substance abuse began at the age of 14, and continued until 11/16/15. Prior to my recovery I had deteriorated into a shell of a person, physically, emotionally, spiritually. I was lost, and living in my active addiction consisted merely of getting high to continue functioning at my most minimal potential. I couldn’t feel feelings, I had no job, no home, my physical health was deteriorating rapidly, and I had lost touch with the things that I am the most passionate about...my children, and my art. I remember surrendering to my higher power, praying to be granted relief from the miserable life I was living. My door to recovery opened following a tragic accident on 11/16/15, everything fell apart. I am now just about 5 years clean and sober. I am currently an undergrad student studying psychology and addictive disorders. In addition to being a full time student, I work full time as a substance abuse counselor at an adult residential treatment facility, here in my hometown. Working in the field of recovery not only allows me to provide a good life for me and my children, but allows me to give back to my community and be there for those that are still suffering. I get asked a lot if I’m happier now that I’m clean, and the only honest answer I can come up with is, yes. Yes I am happier, not because the sadness doesn’t still come, it does, life continues to be challenging. I am happier because I am living a life of truth, and authenticity. I am Leena again, and that makes me happy.”
Hi I am Sean a Recovering Alcoholic and Addict...my sobriety date is Jan 28 1992.....I don't know really where to start with this....but I haven't had to drink or use since then and for that I am eternally grateful....my story is like many of my fellow recoveries....I was young when I got sober...Tired and burnt out....always burnt the wick at both ends...full of self will....so with that it had to end...I started a new life and never looked back...today my quality of life is real and good...been ups and downs but never had to go back or look back to how I lived before I got sober....I live a good life these day in that its all about living happy healthy and joyous... I would like to thank Frank for asking me to share...if you are looking for help just reach out..we are always there my family in Recovery...Paz..Sean F
“I’m Chad and I’ve been an alcoholic since I was 13 years old. I’ve spent the majority of my life not giving a shit if I lived or died. One night about 3 years ago I had a bottle of pills in my hand and enough booze already in my system to make sure that I wouldn’t wake up the next day. At that moment when I was as low as I had ever been, sick of suffering and being miserable, my Higher Power changed my heart. At that moment, I decided to try one more time to get sober. I was finally desperate and surrendered to the fact that I was a hopeless alcoholic. I went to treatment, found a support group and another man I admire, to help me through the process. Since that day, I’ve dedicated myself to being my absolute best and helping other men and women find the peace that I have found. I’m finally the Man, Husband, Coach and Firefighter that I longed to be my entire adult life. I am the founder of a 501c3 nonprofit called Recovery RX Corp @recoveryrx_corp. We are dedicated to helping men and women in recovery find peace. I recently married the love of my life and I’ve never experienced more love and friendship than I currently enjoy. The promises are real.”
“My name is Thomas Kniffin I am an alcoholic. My sobriety date is 9/18/11. My life was completely unmanageable and and I had exhausted everything and everyone around me. Thanks to my sobriety I now live a life that is better then I deserve.”
“My name is Ray Peña, and I’m an alcoholic. My sobriety date is September 12, 2004.
“My name is Patty C., my clean date is 2.28.98 ~ this is my experience, strength and hope. I grew up in an upper middle-class home, it was comparable to living with Ozzy and Harriett. My upbringing did not involve parents that drank, physically or emotionally abused me and certainly no drugs. Even though I grew up with tons of love and stability, my feelings of being less than ~ wanting to be someone else and escape from the internal pain began long before I ever drank my first sip of alcohol or used drugs. My disease started with an eating disorder and then progressed to self-harm. In the early 70’s, the professionals didn’t understand or recognize the parallel with substance abuse. At 15, I experimented with drugs and alcohol and the feeling of euphoria took over. Over the next 25 years, my life spiraled out of control. I was arrested 2.19.98 and by the way of the courts, I was introduced to a couple different 12 step programs. As a result, my life has changed from one of hopelessness to fullness. My relationships with my family, friends and members of the fellowship are filled with honesty, love and compassion. The 12 steps, God and living clean has allowed me to live my dreams. “Don’t leave before the miracle happens” and “We do recover”.
“My name is Charly and I’m an alcoholic. My sobriety date is April 22nd 2016. At the end drugs and alcohol had left me broken. Heroin and meth had made me a shell of a human being, existing only to get my fix and doing so by any means necessary. I didn’t even recognize myself in the mirror. The “rooms” welcomed me with open arms, and opened my eyes to a new way of living, free from self sabotage and chaos. I was taught how to be a man and show up for myself and others. I came to know a god of my own understanding and was given a set of tools to help me through the hard times that only us alcoholics have the privilege of knowing. It ain’t always easy and some days are better than others, but even when I’m down I know the answers will come if I trust god and open my eyes to his will for me. Today I’m grateful for my experience and wouldn’t trade it for anything. I’ve been given a life worth living.”
“My name is Brian Hughes, my sobriety date is 9/8/2008. I live in Queen Creek, AZ. I had a great childhood growing up in SoCal. I couldn’t blame my addiction on anything or anyone. I was sitting in a large speaker mtg in Vista, California a little over 12 years ago with two black eyes and 20+ stitches in my face from a car accident still thinking I didn’t have a problem. I had a ticket to win the big book that night and said a prayer, “God or whoever; if I should sober up let me win this book” Amen.... I hadn’t prayed to anything like that my whole life. I won that book and have read it and practiced its principles for 12 years now. I am forever grateful for the life sobriety has given me. All the promises have come true for me through this program.”
A close member of of our tattoo family @brian_c_tattoos has lost his battle to addiction this week. It is a very sad day as we mourn with his family @_ameeriica.b_93 and his two beautiful daughters Leah and Ivy Campos . Brian was very loved and was a very talented artist, he was only 30 years old. If you would like to donate to his memorial gofundme page you can find the link @jondeandatattoo or you can email Brian’s wife America.since1993@gmail.com This year has been so hard on the recovery community the Quarantine, the isolation and uncertainty, loss of wages and confusion has made it hard for many to see the hope and the light if you or any of your loved ones are struggling please reach out or encourage them to reach out. Help is only a phone call away.”
“My name is Patricio. I am from Buenos Aires, Argentina. I have been free from drugs and alcohol for 11 years. I am a Coach and Psychologist and am working on a Master's Degree in Addictions. When I got to my first meeting, they told me “we are going to love you until you can love yourself” and they didn't lie to me. I traveled a lot in these years and with very beautiful souls: Morocco, Tunisia, Greece, Egypt, Thailand, Dubai, Miami, Barcelona, Paris, Madrid, Amsterdam, Brazil and many more ... I even went to Rio de Janeiro alone, on my motorcycle, 2 times…. Yes, because I still have to take the madman for a walk from time to time, otherwise he will break the whole cage. I don't know if there's something out there, but it works more for me to believe than not to believe, of all the possible options I think it is the best. I also believe that you have to give life a meaning, because it clearly does not have one. I no longer believe my head, and I absolutely always dismiss the first thought. I no longer believe that the void is filled with people, places or things. Today I try to do exactly the same that was done for me with all the people that I can. I never believed that Psychology, Coaching, Addictions, Philosophy, Stand Up could come together in a new project: @demasiadohumano, you are all invited. It seems that absolutely everything I experienced made perfect sense. The Buddhists, who increasingly like me, say “In the end everything is fine. If something is not right today, it is not the end”. Never alone never again. Surf the wave and not try to change it. Acceptance + Gratitude. I am valuable. 11 years of FREEDOM.”
“My Name is Anthony Van Engelen I’m an Alcoholic in recovery. My sobriety date is Sep 17th 2008.. As a Kid I grew up around a lot of Alcohol/drug abuse and witnessed the destruction that comes with that life style. For me as a young kid it was a lot of fear and uncertainty. Like most I started drinking in my early teens then the drugs..by my mid 20’s I was using drugs and Alcohol daily, my only mission was to get high.. At 30 I had had enough, after 8 years of relapse in and out of AA. I called a friend with a solid program and asked him to sponsor me, I said tell me what to do..I had finally surrendered. I was given the gift of desperation. With the help of God my sponsor and the 12 steps I have been able to build an amazing life.”
“My name is Marlena and my sobriety date is 04/07/2010. I had a pretty normal childhood and was a happy kid. But I remember always feeling like I never really fit in, that I was never really comfortable in my own skin. My alcoholism and addiction hit hard and fast once I began college. I dropped out and spent most of my twenties drunk, high, or in rehab, with numerous failed attempts at sobriety. My addiction took me to some dark places but I lived in the delusion that I didn’t care what happened to me and I accepted my fate- that I would probably die from this disease, and soon. In 2010, I was given one more opportunity to get sober and I took it. I worked an honest twelve step program and sought a relationship with a Higher Power on a daily basis. I have been sober ever since. Today I am a loving mom, wife, daughter and sister. I am a college graduate, and a nurse. I get to help other women find the freedom I found from the bondage of addiction. This is my story. We CAN recover. We are those people.”
“Hello, my name is Kimberly J and I’m a person in long term recovery. On January 17, 1991, tired of the high cost of low living, the God of my understanding presented an opportunity to me. To experience a new freedom and peace that I’ve never known. I was chosen by Him to show the world that change is truly possible. My message of hope to anyone that is struggling is to surrender to win. My way didn’t work but surrender did! Today, my journey is to trust God, keep my internal house clean and help others. I’m living my best life and no matter what is going on in this world, I know I’m covered and smothered with His love and protection. I am blessed by the best!”
“The 2nd picture was me on Thanksgiving 13 years ago. I don’t really give two shits about Thanksgiving to be perfectly honest, only in it for the gravy. But I am grateful every day that I am fucking alive I try not to waste my second chance at life. My main objective in life is to be a better man, better friend and a better father and grandfather. Do I fall short? yes. Can I be selfish? yes. Can I be an asshole? yes. Do I ever give up, do I ever quit? Fuck no. I live my life trying to be a better man tomorrow than I was today. Every morning I wake up, I say the same prayer. No matter what happens stay in the fight. Today that’s my message to you. Stay in the fight no matter what happens. Be polite, be professional and have a plan to love everyone you meet."
“My name is Enrique Sanchez. Sobriety date is 03/25/2016. Grew up in West Covina CA, a friend of mine, Frank Ball, helped lead me down this path of recovery when he first started his journey. And for that, I’m grateful to my brother. I never thought these change of ways would ever be worth it, but I've come to experience in my life the reconciliation with the family I still have living. The respect from my 4 children, that I once lost. Sobriety has put them back in my life, but as a different man in their eyes. And just being able to be present when I’m with them is the best gift that sobriety has given me. Thank You.”
“Hi my name is Jennie and since the age of 14 I battled meth addiction. My clean date is March 15th, 2012. My first experience with meth was at 14 it took all my pain and problems away instantly. From the age of 14 -33 years old I put myself in places and situations I never thought were imaginable. I was raised by my father who was physically there but not mentally there. By the time I was 16 I had already been in & out of the juvenile hall system and had my first daughter. At 20 years old I had my second daughter and shortly after that I entered my first rehab as an adult. Between the age of 22 and 33 years old I was homeless, in and out of toxic and abusive relationships, jails & many rehabs. I made many attempts to get it together to return to my children but I always has an excuse as to why I couldn't keep it together and it was everyone else's fault but mine. 4 months prior to throwing in the towel for the last time I was beaten, raped & tortured and hospitalized from the injuries. When I was released from the hospital I continued to use but that traumatic experience was a pivotal moment for me and pushed me to finally get clean. I was not going to let my life be taken without giving my children the chance to know who their mother really was. March 15th, 2012 I finally turned my will and life over to the care of God and as a result of that surrender today I am present, I am a wife, mother & grandmother and living a life I never thought was possible. I am still learning that struggles and problems will always be there...that's life, however picking up and using is not the solution. Today I am grateful & blessed and live one day at a time.
“My name is Diego Rains, I live in Las Vegas, NM. My sobriety date is June 8th, 2011. I started drinking when I was 12, before then I spent a lot of time in Bars, with my Dad and my Uncle. I dabbled in the occasional psychedelic ritual from time to time. It wasn’t until I moved out to Phoenix after I graduated that I was introduced to harder drugs, oddly enough by one of my old bosses. As time went on, it became something that went hand in hand with drinking on a regular basis. By the time I moved back home after 10 years, I was a full fledged “Functioning” alcoholic and drug addict. I tried to get sober in 2000, because I was trying to save the relationship I was in, and open up my first tattoo shop. Both plans Failed, and I found myself head first into my addiction again. Eventually I opened my shop in 2005, and I was still partying. By 2010, I had lost EVERYTHING, my woman, my house, my property, my business, it all came crashing down!! Addicted to hard drugs, and consuming 2 fifths of bourbon a day. I was living in my car. And in cheap hotels when I could afford it. By 2011, I was throwing up blood on a daily basis, I was Dope sick on a daily basis, and I was in a very very dark place!! One day I woke up, puked a bunch of blood, washed my face, and looked at myself in the mirror and didn’t recognize that person I was staring at. I figured at that point, I only had two options, go to rehab, or put a gun in my mouth and call it a day. I was in Rehab by that afternoon. I’ve been sober ever since. I found a great girl (who doesn’t drink), settled down and had a couple of beautiful Kids! And life is better than its ever been. One day at a time.”
“My name is Ray, sobriety date February 21, 2015. Born in Lancaster, Pennsylvania in a neighborhood called Cabbage Hill , which then was a working class blue collar neighborhood in the city. I was an intelligent and gifted student and my "wrong side of the tracks" attitude and underachiever mentality caused me difficulties as I was always lumped in classes with affluent and wealthy children from local suburbs. These experiences began a life full of resentments and belief that the world owed me more than I believed to be afforded me. My mother had passed away of cancer when I was six, and my father was a combat veteran who himself struggled with alcohol dependence, these two facts also led to more anger and mistrust of everyone. I got loaded from the age of 15 until my first detox at 28. My father passed away very soon after my first treatment stay, so I continued to experience jails and hopelessness after that. I entered into an actual recovery support group in 2006, and felt like a zero with the rims rubbed off. I began chasing this way of life with the desperation of a drowning man, and hit some speed bumps along the way, and now am very grateful to have my current sobriety date. My life today is full, I have two beautiful sons who I can show up for on a consistent basis, a wife that is naturally spirituality principled, that I can share a life with. I am a business owner, a member of a fellowship, a responsible citizen and am granted the opportunity to give freely what was given to me in the beginning, and see others gain new perspectives and help them change the trajectory of their own lives. There is a way up and a way out of this thing...peace ✌ also the business I own happens to be recovery houses. @cornerstone_for_recovery_
“My name is George Edwin Totten my clean date is August 15, 2015. I just pulled off 5 years. Real big deal. 1 day is a miracle. Any one out there struggling just know this. God has a plan for you. Never give up there is a lot more work for us to do. Just know you are loved. And if this junkie can live his best life, anyone can. Be about the change and live in love and be the light. Darkness is left where it lays. LOVE is the only answer.”
“Hi my name is Brooke (left) and I’ve been sober for 8 years. My addiction brought me to places I never dreamed imaginable. It caused me to hate myself and almost cost me to loose my kids. Through sobriety I’ve become the mother they deserve and now have this big beautiful life that God has given me.”
“Hi, I'm Amy C and I've been clean for 30 years and trust me I am beyond grateful. My life was in shambles 30 years ago, running the streets of Ft Worth, robbing Peter to pay Paul to just stay high. It was a chore at the end to just not feel my feelings. Thank God for my probation officer who sent me to treatment and saved my life. I began to plant myself in the NA program here in Austin and have never left. My roots are deep here in the program and not even a hurricane can tear me down. I have lost my entire blood family and never found it necessary to pick up, got married and divorced in recovery and married again to a wonderful man with 36 years in AA. I learned not to shit where I eat...hahah, new partner in different program. Through finding my God and continually working the steps since February 24, 1990 I have not found a good enough reason to get loaded. My love and respect for my recovery family, sponsees, sponsorship and the love that is boundless is the reason I work my program to the fullest. Take a trip with me my friends and on that trip, you will find something beautiful....yourself. Dont use no matter what and dont quit before your miracle happens!!! Grateful and blessed... Amy C”
“My Name is James Fox @kitsune2a977 June 3 2020 marked 10 years sober. My childhood through adulthood was full of substance abuse at every level. I robbed time from everyone who loved me and never felt like I fit in anywhere from an early age. Constantly uncomfortable till I started using. I was a child in a mans body, married but not present in my wife and kids lives, and practically unhireable in my skill set. I got honest with myself found God, cleaned house and suited up and showed up to my life. Today I am a son, a husband, a father, and a worker among workers. I help others as much as possible and in my career I am being fast tracked up the ladder. God and the support of others who only want me to succeed has given me a life beyond expectations. I make the borrowed time I have been given into the best days and to be the best version of myself.”
“My name is Tori and my sober date is 10/31/18. My first experience with drugs was around 12 years old and I fell in love with that out of body feeling. My first black out was 13. I slowed my roll for a while and had some normalacy but by 17 I was in an abusive relationship and living in a car. A couple of years later I entered in a whole new world that included binge drinking, drugs, prostitution, and assault. I was told I had a problem but every decision I made was centered around changing the way I felt. I was eventually brought to a meeting. I tried sobriety here and there. I thought I wanted it badly enough when I ended up at homeless shelter in downtown San Antonio. But not even homelessness kept me sober. I maintained this pattern of chaos for years. My last relapse was the most valuable because when I came back into the rooms something hit me hard, like smacked me in my forehead made me want to keep going. I went to meetings, spilled my guts, got a sponsor and worked the steps and openly admitted when I didn't understand things like “God's will” and relying on a higher power. Now I'm in school and I have used my experience to drive my career path in social work. I have genuine friendships and a good relationship with my folks. Even still, that stuff doesn't keep me here, today I am sober because I work an honest program and when I feel like I can slack on my shit, I call someone in the program, I use the tools I have been given. I never thought I was capable of more than that busted version of myself. But that was the biggest lie I believed. Nothing done in active addiction makes us any less worthy of sobriety. My life now revolves around recovery, service work, and being there for my loved ones. I ain't mad at it.”
“My name is Chris, I'm an addict in recovery. My drug use started off at an early age, I spent alot of time hiding from my feelings of anger and abandonment issues. Drugs made it all go away, I spent some time in gated communities and it took me awhile to realize that I was the problem and also that there was a solution. All I had to do was surrender to a new way of life without the use of drugs and hang out with some like minded people on the same mission. I've been a 12 stepper for 9 years and life is amazing through clean eyes. I have a sponsor who has a sponsor and am a firm believer that, why do a twelve step program and not do steps? My belief system is changed, something “greater than me” has my back I just have to be honest, have some faith dont get ahead of my self and take it just for today. I'm cool with that they say, “the program is for complicated people”. I believe that’s knuckleheads like us. And if nobody told you they love you today. I love you!"
“My name is Gennaro Calabrese - many people know me as Reno. I live in Los Angeles, CA. My sobriety date is 5/25/2014 - And I have struggled with addiction my entire adult life and much of my adolescence. I was turned on to meth at around 14. The good thing is, I was also turned on to 12 step programs not too much later. The cycle of using/getting busted/going to jail/treatment/recovery began around age 18. I had some fun, but also very dark experiences behind the disease...fortunately I had long periods of recovery and knew what a life free from using would look like, and I never forgot that feeling-and always would strive to get that back.
Then heroin came into the picture. The busts turned into near death experiences, and things got very real. I finally surrendered in 2014 and let people help me in the way I needed it. It took a lot of work, but I have a life beyond my wildest dreams today. Today I’m a husband and a father, and a sober member of AA who’s here for his fellows.”
“My name is Curt Eichelberger 48. I started drinking and doing most drugs from the age 14. I grew up in the skateboarding and punk rock Scene.. a very heavy party scene. This carried on and till I was in my 40’s. I was over weight with bad health issues all from my years of drinking.. I would say partying but.. this was far from fun. I was hiding booze lying to family and friends.. I wasn’t drinking for fun I was drinking to maintain. ThIs past November things came to a breaking point for me with alcohol. I sought help and have become active in my recovery and the community. And I wanted to do something to help others like me that don’t fit the typical mold for recovery. So many of us have lost loved ones, friends, fellow artists, skaters, and musicians to drugs, alcohol & suicide. We don’t always feel like we fit in or feel comfortable at conventional recovery meetings and needed a place to come together & support each other. That’s Skate Straight .. a support group for the ones that don’t fit in with typical traditional programs.”
“My name is Brittni. From a young age, I always felt “different”. Never really fitting in anywhere, always feeling like I was right on the outside but could never fully get in the middle. I constantly searched for something to change how I felt whether it was boys, food or even chaos as a young girl. Then I found alcohol. It gave me a sense of ease and comfort. When alcohol wasn’t enough, I began experimenting with other substances. At 15, I was a heroin and meth addict. My life spiraled out of control, but I considered it fun. I would do anything and everything to support my habit and stay in a state of mind that would keep me from having to feel or be stuck with myself. As the years passed, my life got consistently worse. I didn’t understand why some people could take it or leave it. I was convinced I had a choice in the matter and just didn’t have the will power and self-control. At 23 I became pregnant with my first daughter. I swore to myself I would be a better woman for her, but still couldn’t stop, and ultimately lost custody of my daughter for 5 years. During that time I was in and out of treatment centers, jails and prison. All the while full of fear, shame and regret. At 28, I was pregnant again with my second daughter. I will never forget the day I was at lunch with my aunt and a friend of hers coming up to me and whispering to me, “I have been praying for you for 10 years, if you ever want to go to a meeting call me”. I once walked into the rooms with a broken spirit tormented by my past. Today I know freedom. My past is one of my greatest assets to help other women. Through the process of the 12 steps and the work I have done, I have found my worth. I am back in school to complete my LCDC, to become a counselor. I get to be a mother to my two little girls, a daughter, a niece, and present in all of my relationships. I wouldn’t be where I am today without my connection to God and the amazing women who have brought me truth, accountability and shown me love. I am grateful.”
“My name is Tim Hendricks, I have been sober since April 26th, 2009. I discovered alcohol in my early/mid teens, and like most kids I took my first drink simply because of peer pressure but continued to drink because of the way it made me feel. I eventually moved on to all mind-altering substances to mask my pain, insecurities and the grief and trauma of losing my father at the age of 12, which I let define too much of my life. I tried for many years to get sober with no avail, all ending in disappointment in myself and more destruction. After landing myself in Cedar Sinai from a drug induced cardiac arrest I gave it one last try. I asked for help from sober friends and they gave me lots good advice, like “Stop trying to get sober ‘your way’ and just follow instructions.” My life before sobriety became as shallow as a puddle and I now experience joy I never knew I could feel and never thought I deserved, every day I wake up is the best day of my life. All of this was possible through a program of recovery and allowing myself to accept help from others, I gave up trying to do it my way and started doing it another way; and it worked.”
“My names Keith W. The only time I wasn’t drunk or high between 13 and 28 years old is when I was in jail or prison. I got sober Oct 17, 1998 and it was the first time in years I had a clear head. The 12 steps have saved my life and gave me a life beyond my wildest dreams. I’m blessed beyond measure.”
“My name is Noah Levine. I have been sober/recovering from addiction since 9/1/88. Some of my earliest memories are of feeling suicidal, as kid I knew about death, believed in reincarnation and I wanted a do-over. Drugs and alcohol became my solution. I was available to avoid my pain when I was high. But by the time I was a teenager I was smoking crack, shooting dope and drinking alcoholicly. I was in and out of Juvy. And after my 3rd felony arrest I became willing to admit I needed help. My father taught me Buddhist meditation techniques and I began attending twelve-step meetings while locked up. Buddhism offered me a philosophy and spiritual practice that made sense to me, the twelve step community offered me a place to belong, a fellowship of people like me. But the reality is that I am an Atheist, so the language and philosophy of twelve-step recovery groups never quite fit for me. Eventually I created a Buddhist program of recovery called @refugerecovery. These days I still attend twelve step meetings as well as Refuge meetings. I meditate, I try to be of service to others. I have learned to forgive my self and others. The suffering that lead to addiction also lead me to recovery. I am a grateful recovering addict. I am one of “those” people.”
“My name is Ash Perkins, I live in Melbourne Australia. I was an active meth and coke addict on and off for 20 or so years! I was raised in a good family, a God fearing family but in my teens I started taking drugs and soon ended up being kicked out of my home! I ended up living my life in and out of jail and involved with some really heavy people for a long time. About 5 years ago it all caught up with me and I lost everything and everyone, I continued to feed my addiction until finally I’d had enough and asked my now wife, who had kicked me out at the time and told me she wanted nothing to do with me, for help. That was on the 28th of June 2017 and I've been clean since. I spent some time in a psych facility before trying to find a rehab. I came across a Christian drug and outreach ministry/rehab called Remar Australia and Paster Luis accepted me for help. Its the best decision I ever made. With the help of my wife Tam, Luis and Remar I found Jesus and my life has never been better. I've been blessed with a beautiful, happy, perfect baby girl and have my family back. For anyone still struggling with addiction there's light love and hope, you just need to accept it. Much love and blessings to you all.”
“My name is Scott. I think Frank and Erika are putting together something good here so I wanted take the time to write a few lines and show my support. When I first landed in prison I thought id finally made it, spun out at 15, strung out by 16, I was having a blast. I surrounded myself with convicts, criminals and dopefiends, prison was where I was going, its just what I decided to do with my life. I was being all I could be on the streets and then in prison. Maybe I pulled it off maybe I didn’t, at this point in my life Idgaf. I gave 11 years of my life to the California department of corrections, I do not believe that addiction led me there, my choices led me there and addiction went hand in hand with the life I chose. When I realized that I had accomplished my life long goal of becoming a fuckin loser I ended up at a non profit with a 2 year minimum stay. This place did not do meetings or religion although my faith in God is a huge part of my life. This place focused on character, behavior and our tendency to make terrible fucking decisions, so for 2 years I worked on that. Today I just don’t make decisions that have a catastrophic effect on my life. I don’t get loaded, I don’t fuck around on my girl, I don’t hit the jackass in line at 7eleven in the mouth and I don’t tell the boss at my badass job to go fuck himself… I make choices that have a positive effect or add true value to my life. Maybe my path in sobriety is different than most, to this day I’ve only ever been to one meeting, but maybe that will allow me to help others in a different way, who knows.. I’m often asked what my sobriety day is and I have no idea. Sometime in late ’09 early ’10. To be honest that day doesn’t mean shit to me. Today means something, tomorrow means something. I want to thank Frank and Erika for letting me and Amber be a part of this, we are definitely “those people”.”
“My name is Seth Binzer I was raised in Los Angeles California. Drugs became a big part of my life at a very young age. To make a long story short, my addiction has destroyed everything in its path for decades. After countless car accidents, arrests, overdoses and rehabs I have managed to find some peace thru the 12 steps. I don’t have a lot of time, but it’s my time and I’m grateful to be be alive! My sobriety date is March 17th 2018. Never give up, if I can do it you can do it to.”
“My name is Lacey. My sobriety date is 9-30-13. My addiction started with pain pills. I took them one time just for fun, that one time led me straight to hell. One time wanting to try them turned into everyday HAVING to have them. My tolerance had grown so much that regular pain pills didn't cut it for me anymore, so, I moved onto injecting heroin. I did whatever it took to get my fix for the day to avoid being sick. I lied, I stole, I manipulated, I hurt everyone who loved me, I didn't care. I was so sick and tired of living life the way that I was that I didn't care if I died or not. I wanted it all to be over but wasn't sure how to make it happen. On September 30th 2013 I was arrested for Burglary of a Habitation. I had previous on going charges at the time of the arrest so the judge took away my bond. I didn't know it at the time, but the year I spent in prison was going to save my life. When I got out of prison, I moved into a sober living facility, started attending support groups and hanging out with other sober people. I got a job at the same sober living facility that I went through as a client, and got married to an amazing man that I also met at the sober living house. I gained the trust back from my family and close friends. I've been able to maintain steady employment and at the same time have the pleasure of working with other addicts just like myself. Recovery CAN happen, life gets better, believe in yourself and know that you are NOT alone. You don't have to fight this demon by yourself.”
“Blessings to all, My name is Mikey V and I am a spiritual seeker of truth. I have so much respect for human beings like Erika Ball, the ones who bring out the goodness in people who strive to ignite the internal fire in the heart that burns in all human beings. I am honored and blessed to contribute my words of love and light to “We Are Those People”. My spiritual journey started Oct. 11, 1996 and since that day I have been relieved of my alcoholism, I have not returned yet to the liquid medicine that once was the answer to all my problems. What I have learned along my spiritual journey is GOD is inside each and everyone of us. That in the human heart is love, compassion and understanding. That GOD is there to anyone who suffers. What I did when I opened my heart to spiritual practices was I started turning my life over to a power greater than myself, you know the one! The one that all of nature depends on, then I started a spiritual housecleaning removing all the negativity and anger from my heart. After that process something remarkable happens, a spiritual awakening takes place, a spiritual life is not a theory it’s the answer to all my problems. I got to start living in the present moment. I got to talk to GOD not just in prayer but all day long! GOD has become my best friend, also learning to sit and meditate to slow the mind down and stop the chattering and listen to GODs answers. When the heart and mind are concentrated on GOD we find that inner peace that is so beautiful and serene and life becomes a unlimited source of joy and happiness. I pray that all human beings be free from suffering, I pray that all human beings find peace, I pray that everyone finds love in their hearts for everyone and most important find love for the greatest wealth in the world a relationship with GOD 🙏God bless”. check on square find out about subscritptions Hey Hamilton, how are you my friend? Strange times we're in huh? I hope you and your family are doing well. I love all the work you are doing in the recovery community. I know you have always given back and I've always respected that about you. Wanted to ask you if you’d like to share some of your story and a message of hope and recovery. We started a nonprofit organization highlighting people in recovery’s success stories. The purpose is to raise awareness and end the stigma associated with Addiction and mental health. We also advocate for mental healthcare reform and we’re working on a few projects to help fight the addiction epidemic. You can see some of the testimonies we have on our social media and website. We want to emphasize the good, positive, humane things that people in recovery are doing. You can see what we’re doing here: Www.wearethosepeople.org. IG: @wearethoseppl Would LOVE to share your story if you’re up for it. And if you have any feedback or suggestions as well. Regardless of all this I hope all is well with you and your family and loved ones. 🙏🏽🙏🏽😊
“My name is Katie and I am a recovering addict. I grew up in a normal home in the suburbs and had a great childhood. I didn’t know addiction could happen to someone like me. My journey with addiction began when I had a minor surgery that went wrong and required 19 surgeries to fix it. I quickly became addicted to the opiate painkillers the doctors were giving me. I became a slave to the pills. I lost all hope for living and began living only for my next high. I tried so many times to stay sober but I just couldn’t make it work. I went to 11 treatment centers and they all failed. I began to think getting sober was hopeless. Finally I was able to stay sober for 19 months but I was still I running on self-will. I was not spiritually fit. I had to learn the hard way that alcohol is a drug. I felt like a failure. After hitting my knees one last time, I realized that I can’t do this alone. I decided to get sober again and although I have less sobriety time, the quality of my sobriety is so much better than I had before. I have a relationship with a higher power, sober friends, and my family in my life. I have mended the relationships I tore down in my 8 year battle with addiction. At first I was ashamed, but I have realized that my story is not about my relapse; it is about the true recovery that has followed it.“
“My name is Kevin Yaeggy, and I am an unapologetic alcoholic/ addict. My journey of powerlessness began on February 19, 2019. What started as a rather uneventful and ordinary day (waking up in a rose bush from a blacked out rampage, pint in hand) slowly catapulted me towards an understanding of my afflictions. On that day, God subtly intervened in my life without my knowledge or permission. For that, I am wholeheartedly grateful. Habits that I began to develop as a naive 13 year old quickly morphed into a vicious and violent cycle; one that led me to incarceration, institutions and very nearly death on many occasions. If you have the opportunity to read this, know that God is already acting in your favor. You are part of the chosen few; for many people spent their entire lives without an introduction to a new life, free of active addiction. There is a recovery community in every hood, ghetto and suburb around the globe. This fellowship slowly nursed me back to health, and I pray that each and everyone of you is given the same chance. Mending the relationships that our disease has destroyed won’t be entirely easy, comfortable or pleasant; but the rewards will outweigh anything that we can imagine. “For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven; and it is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life.”
My name is Kylie. I started drinking when I was just 13 years old. Like most children who have to grow up too fast, I used alcohol & drugs in hopes of finding happiness. It took me 17 years to get back in the driver seat of my own life. In those years I carelessly put myself in harms way, survived countless bad situations, had unhealthy relationships, as well as friendships, destroyed what healthy relationships I’d had, and developed unhealthy coping mechanisms that led me to feel like the life I was living was completely normal and that I didn’t have a problem. Ha! Fast forward some years, through a failed marriage, abuse, crippling debt, medical scares, felt like I was drowning. September 21, 2018 is the day I decided that I needed to change. I’m a better version of myself without alcohol. I proudly haven’t smoked a cigarette since my last drink, and that’s something I never thought I’d say. Im in control of my own emotions, I’ve set boundaries for myself and others. I know I’ll succeed because life’s just better in this light. I’m clear in mind and heart and for the first time, I am happy and honest with myself. I can finally take ownership of my life and I like who I am today, flaws and all. My story isn’t pretty, but, it doesn’t need to be.”💛🤙🏼-Kylie
This is @frankball I am an alcoholic/addict and I am also the Co-Founder of @wearethoseppl my sobriety date is 7/12/2015 five years ago today I hit a new level of surrender and powerlessness that gave me the willingness to go to any length to achieve sobriety and I am so grateful to the recovery fellowship and my family for helping me achieve that. Today my life is nothing short of a miracle, the quality of my relationships with my wife and children are amazing beyond words. I love my family so much, my life has been transformed into a never ending spiritual journey full of love and blessings. I strive to share with the world around me through my Art and in every waking moment . My wife and I are so grateful for what the universe has done for us we want to share it with the world and give back every way possible, in short if the steps can work for sick puppy’s like us it can work for you!
“I’m an addict in recovery named Kat. My clean date is 05/07/2015. Growing up, I was a high achiever and an expert social chameleon. I could blend in, fit in, and outshine anyone at anything, in hopes of being accepted by the “cool crowd” in every clique imaginable. The summer after my senior year of high school, was toxic for me on every level. In school, I was somehow passing my classes at the local community college enough to maintain eligibility for the basketball camp; softball teams, but truthfully, I was holding on by one dangerously thin thread. I went to jail on my first ever arrest/offense, and it was within those walls that I suffered a sexual assault at the hands of a correctional officer. The judge in my case, I’m sure intended to “scare me straight”, but instead had subjected me to one of the most traumatic events of my life- a trauma that fueled my addiction & my need to escape my own skin .I was able to graduate with honors in Secondary Biology Education at the local community college. Shortly thereafter my father was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney cancer. we were blessed to have gotten almost 2 years with him. When we did end up losing my father, that drug & alcohol use sent me spinning towards complete self-destruction. From the moment the funeral concluded, my life is one big blur that included multiple arrests and treatment facilities- with a sham of a wedding thrown in the mix. Today in recovery, I have gotten to live through a lumpectomy, live through incarceration, become a mother, become a wife, and have truly become the woman that I believe that my father had always hoped I would be. If you are reading this and you are struggling with a substance use disorder, or know someone who is, please know that you are not alone- despite what your brain is trying to convince you of- and that others like you that truly care for you and have your best interests at heart exist. I will be graduating with an MBA in Healthcare Management, & substance abuse counseling licensure. If at the end of my days, all I can say is that I helped 1 person, died clean & sober, and that my son & husband never saw me give up- I will call that a full and successful trip." @ Bel Air, Maryland
"My name is Danielle D, my sobriety date is 3/15/2015. I live in Fullerton, CA. Life before recovery was dark. I felt like I was suffocating. Using felt great at first, but quickly came the need for more and more and more. I lost so much weight, I lost my mind, I lost my friends. The only person I had left ripped out my hair, spit in my face and punched me on a daily basis. I was so broken, that I ran out of a store towards freedom and I never looked back. Getting clean wasn’t easy. I did have a slip, and I got right back to it. I worked the steps to the best of my ability. I have so many quality relationships today. I have women who have my back, and support my best interest. I have my two beautiful children who have never seen me loaded, by the grace of God. I have a higher power who I choose to call Jesus Christ- who has moved mountains for me, as long as I showed up and did the footwork. Today I am engaged (squeal) I am a mother, I am a friend, I am a daughter. Today I can tell you with all the passion I have in my soul that THE PROMISES DO COME TRUE"
“My name is Kelly Edwards and I'm an alcoholic. I got sober October 28, 2010, for which I am truly grateful. I drank and used for over 20 years to deal with life or to not have to deal with it at all. I surrendered many things to try and fill an ever growing spiritual hole within; family, friends, loved ones, career, business, freedom, sanity. The circle of people close to me became smaller as I withdrew into loneliness and the bottle. I thought that I would quit if it got bad enough but it just kept getting worse. The consequences became more frequent and severe, but it was never enough to make me stop. I was at the end and had to reach out for help, because I could not do it alone. With help from others who had done it before me and the willingness to follow a spritual program of actionable steps, I've found lasting freedom from the obsession of alcohol and drugs. I get to help others do the same when they're ready. I get to be a father, husband, friend, student and teacher and live a life of purpose, peace and sanity. Life has it's ups and downs, but I'm able to weather whatever it hands me without a drink. I'm grateful that there is a solution which leads to an increasingly beautiful life that I could have never imagined.”
“Hi my name is Gretchen and I’m an alcoholic. My sobriety date is 7/4/2012, my very own Independence Day. I’m from Austin TX but live in Reno NV. Growing up I was the party kid, loved the rave scene but in my mind I just enjoyed to party. When I was 20 years old I tried heroin and learned the true meaning of addiction. For almost a decade I used. I would try to get sober and then my down fall would be that I would convince myself I’m a drug addict and not alcoholic, I would drink and get high the same day. Finally after years of that cycle I came to terms with I’m an alcoholic. In 2012 I was 29.5 and I was going to start my 30’s sober. A new decade , a new me! And I did. Through sobriety I got married to my best friend and we have two amazing kids who will never see me drunk or high. I’m a runner and currently studying to be a yoga teacher. All of this I got through sobriety. I’m so grateful for my life today. It’s a damn dream come true ❤️.”
“My name is Kei I’m an alcoholic/ addict. The day I kicked the juice is May 4 2013 like many other people on this page I have a story full of jail, moving home 2 home, single prostituting mother, addicted family, hopelessness, insecurities, and chasing the perfect mix of booze and dope all over the world. I met Frank in the early 2000’s and have watched him grow in his spirituality and sobriety he seemed so happy. Him and Joe V had some thing with out the dope and it was a calming peace. I reached out and got in the program. Today, I have a beautiful family. My work is fulfilling. I volunteer in orphanages and visit inmates who don’t get visits, all due to this program. I’m blessed and grateful to have a support group larger then any click I ever ran with. Life is great. I’m ok when days just seem off and and just as ok when days flow. 24 hours at a time. Never give up or check out five min before the miracles happen.”
“My name is Greg Millan, I am an addict. I have used drugs and alcohol since I was 10yrs old. I have a sober date of 6/13/19. I am fortunate to have people who loved me when I couldn't love myself. Early childhood abuse made that very difficult for me. I have a three-year-old daughter who gave me the heart to face my demons. I have a sponsor he's an old veterano who helps me get through my daily struggles. It helps. I live and work in an “active", neighborhood. Telling people that I no longer use drugs or drink is a high in itself. I'm very thankful to have Frank and Erika Ball who were present in some of my darkest hours. All I can say that if I can do it you can also do it, miracles do happen I'm living proof. Frank, Erika , Pinky and John YOU ARE SAINTS!”
“My name is Daria. I’m a recovering addict/alcoholic/hoodrat. My sobriety date is 8/11/2011 by the grace of God. I was a very bad person, I did whatever it took to survive and be high doing it. I lived on the streets, have been in jail many times, would’ve stolen from God if I had the chance- my soul was dark and I was heartless. I was 40 years old, on the run for a year and when they caught me I was broken and tired- I was done. Jail saved my life, along with desperation for something different. Today I am FREE! I’m surrounded by love that brings me to tears because my gratitude overwhelms me. I practice the principles in all my affairs and it works. Acceptance and giving everything to my HP has been key for me - it takes practice but eventually it will come naturally, I promise. I’m humbled by God and the program I work, I can’t believe this is my life 🙏🏻 the blessings of sobriety are unreal - stay the course.”
“My name is Josh, my sober date is April 22, 2019. I grew up the child of alcoholic parents In a home with no direction no stability and no money. My Dad wasn’t around and I was raised alongside my brother with a single mom that had her own struggles. We moved at least once a year, I grew up lonely and socially awkward. By 12 I had found a solution to discomfort of being “Me” in drugs and alcohol and by 17 I was homeless and/or institutionalized. After my last state sponsored vacation, I managed to put together a long stint of abstinence through my 20’s but I was still an angry miserable child. I tapped back into using at 30 and spent a decade chasing that perfect combination of drugs, sex, status, and environment that was gonna fix me forever, I never found it. After years of repeating the same cycles I found myself at a point of total desperation and that allowed me to surrender for the first time in my life. I don't run the show anymore. With the help of the 12 steps and the people in it I’ve managed to taste a sense of peace that eluded me my whole life, just like a proper addict I only want more if it. I’m basically a toddler when I comes to recovery; it’s not all crimson and clover and I stumble here and there, but I’m sober and the life I have now is so much better than the insanity I was living before. My ability to be comfortable being uncomfortable gets stronger everyday and life, however it comes at me, is real fuckin’ good . This program works and I’m grateful for it.” @joshcartertattoo
“My name is Samantha. My clean date is June 6, 2015. I struggled with drug addiction, shame and having no passion for anything my whole life, so I am very grateful to be where I am today! I am excited to write about what I went through to get here from childhood trauma to active addiction trauma, then the upside of getting clean and finally coming up for air from my misery! You will read writings at http://SamanthaGorson.wordpress.com of my experiences with being a feminine lesbian, the troubles and beauty of that, losing over 100 pounds and of course, maintaining sobriety and recovery! At one point this seemed like a wild, unobtainable dream, not only the clean time, but any sort of life beyond just existing. Today, this is not a dream, this is not unbelievable anymore. This is real, I worked hard for this and I am so proud of myself!”
"My name is Matty and I am an addict. My clean date is 6-2-07. I used for one simple reason, I did not like the way that I felt. Drugs and alcohol were the only thing that made me feel whole. By the time I was 22, I was addicted to heroin. Over the next few years, I traveled across the country trying to run away from my problems. Eventually it was time to accept that I had to try someone else’s way or die. Through several treatment centers and psych wards, I eventually ended up in Florida where I accepted help from other recovering addicts. Honesty, open mindedness, and willingness were the principles that enabled me to live a life of freedom from active addiction. My life is full of love and gratitude. My wife and I have been married for 4 years. In 2011 I started tattooing being a working artist, husband and dog parent has translated to a peaceful and fulfilling life. There is nothing that can happen that I can’t get through without using. I do my best to show others that they can have the freedom that I have found. Working through resentment leads to compassion and working on my defects leads to inner peace. I’m always right where I’m supposed to be and more will be revealed.”
“My name is Matt and I am a recovering Addict. My Clean date is 07/09/14. Like most people In recovery I hit a bottom. I had lived to use and used to live, I was in and out of jails,hospitals and homelessness. I lived a miserable existence, I had been incarcerated most of my teenage life, so naturally I found drugs and alcohol when I was released. As an adult I spent years looking for something different, I started Tattooing in 2002 and thought that was the answer, I love Tattooing but I always seemed to let the drugs take everything. I found a 12 step program that helped save my life, I stayed clean for 4 years then relapsed because I felt that recovery wasn’t that important, I started chasing Money, property ,and prestige. And I forgot about giving back into selfless service, wasn’t practicing the steps and thought I had all the answers. Im fortunate that I was able to get clean again. Today I get to participate in my recovery. I love being able to help others that suffer from this disease. ❤️”
“My name is Jamie and I got sober on August 12th 2017 after a long and soul draining weekend in NYC. I had been in and out of institutions as a teenager so I had the seed planted early that I was likely an alcoholic. I managed to accumulate a pretty fruitful career as a tattoo artist, compete in weightlifting and prop up all the outward markers of success. I was "sober" through most of it but wasn't cultivating an honest spiritual path and it eventually lead to me getting loaded again and eventually the noise in my head became too much to bear. Thanks to God I was able to get clean again without having to lose more than some of my ego. Fast forward to last August. My wife and faithful companion of 6 years is diagnosed with a rare and serious form of ovarian cancer. Life changed very quickly for the both of us and what the future will look like for her is unknown. Cowards like me run from situations like this but thanks to God and the 12 steps I've been able to show up for her and help her carry this burden. If I wasn't sober and living in the spirit of God, I can guarantee I'd be telling you a different story right now. Life is hard, harder than most of us are prepared for, but its also full of blessing and glory if you look in the right places. Thank you.”
"Im Patrick and I’m an alcoholic. My sobriety date is April 25 ,2017. Life was hard for me with or without drugs/booze.The chemicals were my solution (not my problem) because life itself was too difficult. PATRICK was the problem, my broken ego telling me I’m not enough, telling me I’m better than. I used to say “I just wanna be happy” but years later I discovered that all I ever wanted was peace. I was convinced I was different: ”I was molested, I was bullied, my mother was abusive, you mighta had it rough but you don’t know this pain.” In my last year of using I had $300/day heroin addiction. I wanted to die. I was ready to, but didn’t have the courage to consciously kill myself. I guess there was a tiniest sliver of fight left in me to live, so I kicked for 43 days. No rehab, no cell. Just 43 days of terror but when I look back on it, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. It took the pain to FINALLY break me and -DO-something new. I GOT COMFORTABLE WITH BEING UNCOMFORTABLE. I went before meetings and hung out after meetings.I LISTENED.I realized I didn’t know shit.Theres so many people that had a part in my sobriety, I woulda never made it without them and an amazing sponsor who won’t co-sign anything. He suggests ACTIONS: reading, writing, inventory, calling others and above all HELPING OTHERS. Its a privilege to watch as the light turn on in someone’s eye where there was darkness. If you’re new, don’t think, just DO, get yourself a sponsor and get on it! THIS SHIT REALLY WORKS!"
“Hi, my name is Amanda and my sobriety date is 12/6/2016. I’ve had many sobriety dates prior to this but by the grace of god this one stuck. Since the age of 19 I’ve been battling heroin addiction. I was always in and out of treatment centers, hospitals, sober livings & support groups. 2016, I had left rehab one last time and sitting in my car feeling hopeless and desperate I called a sober friend and broke down crying “I left treatment again but I don’t want to get high, i have no where to go and I don’t know what to do”. In that moment I finally understood what being powerless over drugs and alcohol meant. Through the help of support groups and the people in them, today I have a life beyond my wildest dreams, I am a mother to my beautiful daughter, wife to my amazing husband and a career I love. If you are struggling don’t give up, keep coming back. XO”
"Hi, my name is Doug. My clean date is February 22 1993. I was 22 years old when I found recovery. I believe I was born with the disease of addiction. The drugs were just a symptom. My thinking has always been detrimental to my happiness. My thinking is what told me "I’d be a better person if I did drugs" or "that I’d be more accepted and cool". At the same time it'd tell me that I was useless and no matter what I did, that would never change. So I was caught in this circle, of trying all sorts of things outside myself to escape the person I’d never bothered to meet. It was exhausting. Today I’m working on my 28th year clean and I have a pretty full and satisfying life. I've been through the steps a few times with my sponsor, and continue to practice principles. I have a trade that teaches me daily how little I know about it. Which is fine by me because it helps me with open mindedness. I enjoy my life today and I don't run around in circles so much anymore, trying to be ok with myself. I have learned that the only place I can be is where my feet are.”
“My name is Nora. On March 31, 2001, I began an extraordinary adventure called sobriety- I was invited into a relationship with the power that transforms all things and on to a path where I could live a life beyond my wildest dreams... To say yes to life and no to self destruction. I am beyond grateful for the guidance and leadership of powerful women and men who paved and illuminated the path for me to simply trudge one day at a time. It sounds cliche- but is nevertheless true: all that I have is a result of following the path that was laid before me.” (Daughter on the right 19 Yrs Old)
“My name is Samantha, I’m an alcoholic. My sobriety date is August 16th, 2018. I grew up in an alcoholic family where everyone pretty much had some type of addiction. There were lots of traumatic events throughout my life that lead me to cope with alcohol and other substances. I was delusional in my thinking that things I had earned could save me from being an alcoholic. I ended up graduating college and a masters program in active addiction but every time I would drink it just got worse. My relationships were abusive and I had horrible emotional bottoms. I wanted to die, even though my life looked great from the outside. I finally chose to get clean because I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to be happy and free from this disease. It’s not always easy, but sobriety has given me a life I LOVE today. Everyday I wake up I’m so happy to be alive. My life is beautiful today and I finally feel spiritually whole. I owe it all to my higher power and working a program.”
“My name is Hamilton and I have been clean since January 19, 2014. I grew up in a very dysfunctional and chaotic family. Substance use was rampant, and it became a solution for me early on as well. I struggled with my addiction off and on for my entire adult life. Towards the end of my using, everything was truly falling apart, and my children were forced to live in a world of constant chaos just as I had. I had been resolved for a while that I was going to be in the prison of my addiction forever. It was not until January of 2014 that I came face to face with the jumping off point. There was no more wiggle room. Either go on to the bitter end (which was very close) or find a new way to live. My family does not live there anymore. I have no way to express my gratitude for the grace that I have been given. I get to live a life today that I NEVER thought was possible. I still don’t know how or when the change happened, but I am sure it is because of the people in my life. Not because anyone gave anything to me. People led by example, and I followed. I did not buck the system. I worked to follow the suggestions and take advantage of any opportunity to be of service. Thinking only of myself made my world very small. Constantly thinking of how I can be of service to others and what an impact I can have created a world with no boundaries, gave me purpose, relevance, and cast away the chains of bondage of self-centeredness.”
My name is Dora and I am powerless over alcohol. I have a disease of never enoughness that awakens the moment I take a drink. You see when I take a drink it is never just one, it's several and then the whole bottle and maybe another and I lose track of time, what is important and the ability to make any healthy choices. I do not have a filter, a stop or control of where that first sip might take me and how many drinks or days of binge drinking and blackouts will ensue. I drank and used for more than 30 years of my life. In the beginning drinking gave me a voice, I fit in and was even funny and made people laugh. That liquid courage made me somebody. In the end I stayed up for 4 or 5 days taking one day off to crash and then right back at it. As much booze and drugs it took to keep me from my reality. I was stuck in a cycle of insanity. I was utterly hopeless and drowning in an extremely toxic relationship where I felt like there was no way to get out and the drinking and drugging numbed out my pathetic existence. Until one day I had the courage to walk out with the clothes on my back and fell on my knees in a hotel room weeping and asking God to please help me. Please give me the strength to get away and stay away from this relationship that was killing me. The next day I had a thought “maybe if I stop drinking, I’ll find the strength I need to start over again” I reached out and found a recovery program and walked into a room of strangers with no idea of what to expect but I thought it couldn't hurt to try. I was utterly destroyed and from that first meeting I felt like this was a place where I could find help. I heard people sharing about themselves so openly about blackouts, binges, jails, surviving trauma and abuse and they were sober. I felt an immediate sense of belonging and of hope for a new way of living. I quickly learned that I was an alcoholic and had been for a very, very long time. My sobriety date is December 2, 2018 and getting clean and sober is the single most important decision I've ever made for myself. It is the biggest gift and act of self love I could ever give me. I’ve tasted the fruits of sobriety and I don't ever want to go back to where I came from. I keep the memories of my rock bottom close to remind me of where I’d end up if I took another drink. Now I am not alone. I have a solution. I have a program and I have tools. Today I put as much energy into staying sober as I did chasing the buzz. I work with other alcoholics and addicts at www.soberoso.com to share a message of hope for those who are still suffering. If you think you might have a problem with drinking and drugging I want you to know that you do not have to continue living in pain there is a solution.
"My name is Tim. I have a clean date of June 10th 2019 and where my life was prior to that specific date, I’m grateful for, because it’s a constant reminder of where I don’t ever want to be again. I’ve heard a lot of people say us “youngsters can’t stay clean but in my opinion if you really want something you will strive and put forth the effort for it. This is a life or death situation for me there is no in between. My life has changed completely, I’m part of IMPACT SOBER LIVING managing multiple homes and there is no better feeling then being of service helping those that are down and uplifting them.... it doesn’t matter if you have 5 years or 5 minutes any moment not using is a victory!”
“My name is Connor and I’m an alcoholic. My sobriety date is August 4, 2015. My first drink was around age 12 or 13 but things didn’t really start until I was 16 and tried heroin for the first time, I felt like I had arrived. 7 years of putting myself into deplorable situations, terrible relationships, and just plain torture. I realized I had hit my bottom when I was living in my car in a Walmart parking lot, with every bridge burnt. I called a sober friend, and I went to treatment. My eyes had been opened and the seed had been planted, but I stopped doing the work and I got loaded again after 6 months. I was out 9 days and came back more broken than I had come in from a 7 year run. Those first 30 days were truly hell but it made me realize that I am on this earth for more than just getting loaded. I have a purpose today, and that is to help other women on this badass journey, to be a daughter, a friend, a wife. My life today is truly beyond my wildest dreams and I 1000% owe that to my support group, and God. Anyone can have this, and remember that you don’t have to do it alone. Thank you for this opportunity ! I love what you guys are doing on this page 🙌🏻”
“My name is Roy. I’m a recovering Addict. From a life filled with neglect, abuse, and trauma, to a substance abuse counselor. I am grateful for my sobriety. It is not easy and I will not sugar coat it. 18 years ago, my home was the medium-security prison in Florence, Colorado. I was serving a 121 federal prison sentence for conspiracy to distribute methamphetamine. One day, March 22, 2001, I was in the kitchen, working and getting drunk with the homies. We got breathalyzed and I went to the SHU for 30 days. It was this day that I decided that I’d had enough. I realized that if I didn’t quit then, that it would be a continuous cycle for me. I did not want to be a statistic, in and out of prison for the remainder of my life. Fast forward to today. It has taken a lot of work to get here, I have lots to still do, but I'm here to say, IT IS POSSIBLE. Life is beautiful! And it is what we make of it. We cannot get ahead or better ourselves if we continue to blame others! Accountability has played a big part in how far I’ve gotten today. I’ve learned to treat others the way I like to be treated. I do my best to share what I’ve learned. I do this with acts of kindness, spreading positivity, and helping those that have been in my shoes. I am grateful for my sobriety and all those around me that believe in me! The ‘drug addict’ graduating from University with honors, and going to work in the field of addiction in prisons as a counselor. We are unstoppable and we do recover!”
My name is Amanda, I’m an alcoholic and I have been sober since July 23rd 2014. Today my life is pretty amazing but I had to go through a lot of pain to get here. I was broken, beaten down and miserable. I was terrified to even think about a single day without a drink or drug in my body- I just couldn’t imagine it. After years of abusing substances, a decision was made for me to go to treatment. My father knew I needed the help but I wasn’t willing to make that decision for myself. At first I was not happy about but eventually was able to make the best of it. When I got out of treatment, I was the first to tell you that I had no intentions of staying sober, but I couldn’t go home so I went to a recovery house. Three months in- I was sober but completely miserable. I had no solution. The drugs and alcohol were no longer in my life- but I still had a huge problem. ME.
It was strongly recommended that I participate in a 12 step program. Going through the steps not only helps me stay sober... but it gives me an opportunity to help others. Today my life is filled with joy. People like me. I’m am trust worthy. I have a beautiful relationship with my father. Today I am free.
“My name is Satch. I lived for a period of 7 years where heroin, OxyContin, Opana, and Methamphetamine served as my ball and chain. If a felony conviction, 20+ stays in rehab and 6 overdoses wasn’t enough to scare me, what would make me change? I took a rigorous coarse of action, realizing that my life was in a state of emergency was the first of many steps I took towards a life that I honestly didn’t think I was worthy of. I continue to seek connection today, I aim to help anyone that I can. I work in treatment, and I get the opportunity to see myself in so many people on a daily basis. I used to be a very bad man, and then things changed.... And so did I. But today I just keep it simple. I’m just a bad man doing good things since 03/06/2015.”
“My names Chloe I grew up in an alcoholic home. Nothing was ever set in stone, people yanked out of my life, people put into it at no choice of my own. Once I was able to start making my own choices I decided chaos was comfortable . I went from one place to another, relationship to relationship, friendship to friendship always consuming what I needed to make sense of what was going on in my head. Everything I did was based upon my own needs at that moment. I felt like the madness was my lot in life. September 4th, 2014 I had a moment of clarity and was able to make a decision that would benefit my life more than I could ever imagine. I am the person I’m supposed to be today. 5 years sober and I can honestly say I haven’t walked with this much integrity in my whole life. The brightest spot in my recovery has been watching my mom, dad, and sister get sober. My family was torn apart by alcoholism and my support group restored it. If you’re struggling or know someone struggling give this thing a chance. Talk to someone; it could save your life. I am so grateful for the life I have today.”
“My name is Taryn Williams and I haven't used a drink or a drug since 09/15/13. The journey from a scared abused rejected child- to a lonely angry addicted youth- to the strong persistent loving woman that i am today, continues to blow me away. I was severely abused as a kid, went through foster care, and then my mom ended up taking her own life. I was lost- got strung out on heroin and cheap vodka, was homeless several times, arrested over and over again, in and out of psych units and detox centers. Eventually I picked up two strikes for armed robbery and went to prison. It was then that I sat still long enough to get physically sober. Now I'm almost 7 years sober, a mom to 5 year old twins, about to finish up a double bachelor's, just did a TED talk and applying to PhD programs in fall. I always stop and think- how is this even my life?! The only thing I did right was stop believing the lie that I was unfixable... I handed the knotted mess over to G-d and got out of my own way.”
“My name is Debbie, my sobriety date is 04/28/2016. At 41 I found myself six months pregnant and in a drug treatment program. My first attempt at sobriety had been eight years earlier, after my divorce. I’d like to say I stayed clean after getting out of treatment at seven months pregnant, I did not. I kept using heroin and opiates and methamphetamine, pretty much anything as long as I didn’t have to feel. Feelings were painful. On April 24, 2016 I was arrested and placed into the VA psychiatric unit for meth induced psychosis I was 44. I was on the verge of losing my youngest child who was my ninth child and the only one I have in my possession. I’d like to say I had a prolific awareness. The only thing I could tell myself was the option to use was no longer an option. You can only see when you are ready to see. All I can say was I had an understanding that I was the creator of my self destruction. It wasn’t my childhood, it wasn’t my failed marriages, it was ME. I made the choice. I had to let go. I did. I let go of the self-pity, the hate, the resentments, the fear and sadness. Sobriety is absolutely the most painful and hardest thing I continue to do. By far, the most beautiful experience in my lifetime. I see and feel things vividly. I’m now a homeless outreach case manager at a veteran organization in Bend Oregon. I’ve got all my children back. Bought a home last month and continue on my journey with sobriety! Radically present.”
“My name is @shanewoodward and I’m an alcoholic. My sobriety date is may 15th 2005. I grew up in an alcoholic household where chaos was the norm. Alcoholism takes over the entire family. Everyone succumbs to a role that centers around the disease. Fast forward a few years, family member gets sober and I lost my definition of self, I lost my role as caretaker. I lost my purpose in life. Enter my disease. It had been layin waiting. Nothing worse than being a practicing alcoholic with a head full of recovery. My sobriety is a direct result of living in pain until the pain became too great. It took a lot of years of coming in and out of the rooms, continually running over myself because of low self esteem and self sabotage. When God finally became the last person that would listen to my bullshit, I turned my life over and began this journey. I work the steps. I pray. And I help others. Doing the next right thing is paramount to a life of serenity for me. I fuck up, of course, but I don’t beat myself into the darkness. I get up admit my wrongs and learn. The beauty is I will always be learning with the big man on my side. 🙏🏼”
“My name is Carissa and I’m an addict. My clean date is 7/2/2014. I used drugs to mask feelings of grief, inadequacy and insecurity. I spent my whole life trying to fit in and obtain validation from others. My addiction led me to some horrible places. I was spiritually, financially and emotionally bankrupt. I burned every bridge and had no where left to go. I had lost everything including my own son. I thank GOD every day for my mother, she saved my life. She was the one person I had left and she decided enough was enough. She filed an eviction notice to get me out of her home. It was the wake up call I needed to go get help. I went to detox and rehab and have not looked back. I have a life worth living today. I am a FULL time single mother to two beautiful children. My 16 year old son, who I got back legally after 5 years of struggle and a 3 year old daughter. I’m no longer a scared little girl. I’m a woman of character and integrity who is finding out who she is and what she wants out of life. Through GOD and the 12 steps I have found a purpose. Today I have the opportunity to give back and help other women recover by sharing my challenges and victories. I am extremely grateful for my life and everything I have been through. Every day is not a picnic but today I know I can get through anything as long as I don’t use and get honest with others in recovery about my feelings. Thank you @erikaball73 for the opportunity. My humble, gracious friend❤️”
“My name is Dougie Mittz and my sober date is May 14, 2018. Over 2 years ago I checked in to a rehab with a black eye, 23 stitches and a fiancé that was over it. She dropped me off and I kicked a 16 mg/day suboxen habit that I washed down with over a fifth of vodka every day. Physically I was in a shambles but as bad as I looked on the outside, what was going on in my heart, mind and spirit was worse. I had years of AA but I had paid a lot of money on the streets and in bars to wash that stuff out of my head and so I got high in the rehab. Next day I walked out the rehab and got vodka and got drunk in the dorm. They busted me and threatened to throw me out. My friend Frank and his son got me in this place and here I was all lit up and on the verge of getting kicked out. The day after that I got vodka again I was about to get kicked out and sitting there I was able to get honest with myself: I was going to either go down the road of a long, alcoholic, painful death or I could say a prayer and take the other fork in the road. It was in that window of gods grace that I was able to see and jump through by taking some action. This guy came into the rehab to speak and what I heard was a message of hope and a promise of freedom in his share so I asked him to sponsor me and we got right into doing the steps. I completed the program I went to sober living for 9 mos and picked up sponsees of my own. Now I’ve been in my own place for a year and we’ll see what the future holds but my life today is drama-free. The design for living I’ve been given shows me how to live free of negative emotions that used to bring me down. Thank you and much love to the Ball family.”
“Hi my name is Josiah and my sobriety date is 3/8/2011. I grew up with a lot of fear in my childhood and trauma in my late teens and early twenties. Drugs, alcohol, and dangerous behavior consumed my life and it became unmanageable. I went through addiction rehabilitation several times and eventually something clicked. I have since been involved with many different recovery programs and practices. Things have not always been easy in recovery and the foundation that I was helped to build in my early years has carried me through difficult times. It’s always been a pleasure for me to “pay this forward” as was done for me and anyone can recover if they are willing to be honest with themselves.” @josie2suits
“Thank you @wearethoseppl for allowing me to share during this time. I’m super grateful for my life today, in over 5 years clean the obsession to use has been lifted, my relationship with myself and family restored, I have meaningful friendships that push me to grow and I’ve also become self supporting through my own contribution. Now it’s a matter of daily maintenance on my spiritual condition to keep it all going by the grace of a loving higher power I’ve found through a support group. Although I’m not always where my disease says I should be (insidious, relentlessly dissatisfied) I know exactly where I am today is no accident. I used to take anything I could to stay out of self and wasn’t partial to one substance, as long as I was steadily stimulated or sedated in some way things were “good.” After about 10-12 years of using to different degrees I’d reached a point where I could not deal with life or function in society as others did but I did not think I had a problem. It took a psych ward and two treatment centers to recognize that my higher power had more for me in recovery but had to show me first through people’s love and kindness in a way I’d never felt before and am in touch with these people today. With that said if you are new and struggling scrolling through this page today welcome, if you’ve been around recovery and are trying to stay connected welcome. Please reach out no matter what. We can’t do this alone and we need each other.”
“My names Louie. I had a serious case of the Mondays on my Sobriety Date -January 20th 2003. I am grateful that on that day, when I was out of options, I turned my life and my will over to a power greater than myself. I traded the problems had then for the quality ones I have now. When I found the rooms of recovery I was often daunted by the clichés I live by today. Getting outside of myself, and out of my own way was the best decision I ever made. The things I thought I wanted or needed have been replaced by a quality of life I couldn’t have imagined.
Yes It was fucking hard. Sometimes people, places, and things can break your heart. If I can offer any advice to the person that is suffering, I ask them to just make it to the pillow tonight without drinking or using. Tomorrow is not promised so worry about it then.
Today I own and operate a shop in Fullerton, CA and I have a blast playing in three kickass bands . Life is chill as fuck.” Easy does it. -LP3”
“My name is Leah. My sobriety date is 8/20/17 and I owe that to my higher power. Before I got sober, I was a broken little girl. I had no life skills, no values and had turned my back on anyone that cared about me. I completed ripped my life to shreds and felt like there was no way out anymore. I had multiple failed attempts at getting sober and was in and out of detoxes and treatment centers. I felt as though my life was an endless cycle of getting loaded, losing everything and going to treatment again. I entered my last rehab in 2016 and had no intention of staying sober, but I knew I couldn’t continue doing what I was doing anymore. In that center I met people that would be the reason I began to change my thinking. Everyone else had different plans for me and I had no option but to accept that. I got out of rehab, went to a sober living and have managed to stay sober for this long. In sobriety, Ive been able to go back to school and get my high school diploma, create real solid relationships with friends and family and am now able to help others going through what I went through. Choosing sobriety was the best decision I ever made and without the love and support I have from my family, friends and support groups I don’t think I’d be alive today. I’ve been through a lot in the last few years and staying sober through them hasn’t been easy, but it’s been worth it. I can actually look people in the eyes today and hold myself up with grace and dignity. Every night, I thank god that I can lay my head on the pillow sober and every day I thank god that I got to wake up sober as well.”
Coming soon“Hi my name is Christian I’m an alcoholic/ addict. I got clean Sept 13, 1995 . Started using drugs early in my childhood, smokin weed dabbling in speed and coke, PCP and what the older kids on the block would give me before the age of 13. Skateboarding, Punk Rock and drugs. Getting high took priority over anything. High school was a blur. Ended up homeless pretty much right after becoming 18 and then ended up doing a year in county jail at 19 for strong arm assault and assault on a police officer. Still took a few years of being a junkie to realize that it wasn’t a life I wanted. I made an attempt of getting sober but relapsed after 2 years. I went to meetings thinking “I’m different” and was pointing out what everyone else was doing wrong, so I eventually relapsed. I was miserable sober because I didn’t do the work. Ended up homeless again in 95. I was tired of the same old hustle everyday trying to get high. I wanted a better life than prison or death like most my using friends. Getting sober this time I knew I needed to change and said maybe I should start caring about others and not be self centered. All my dreams my first year came true. The last 24 years has not been all roses. I had to deal with my parents dying, divorce, breakups etc. But I was able to stay sober through all the highs and lows. What kept me going is praying, reaching out, checking in on others trying to see if I could be of service. I moved from LA to NYC 4 years ago to be with my beautiful wife who I met years ago through a friend I helped in his early recovery. I try everyday not to be an asshole one day at a time. Im always available to help another addict new or struggling, with my experience strength and hope . Getting sober wasn’t the end, it was the beginning of a new life.” @christian6669
“My name is Kacie and I was born into a seemingly average life. I have two parents who have both been in the depths of addiction themselves, which I learned very early in life. However, I started my drinking career in high school to fit. I felt different and drinking made me feel normal. I continued to socially use/drink until my grandfather passed in 2014. Drinking then became a coping mechanism. In 2016 I quit drinking and traded it for a heroin addiction. As quickly as it began, I lost my home, my friendships, my sense of self, everything. Heroin took over and took away everything. Over the course of my using I was hospitalized and had multiple overdoses. Nothing scared me enough to stop. I had 2 hard relapses in between that time until I finally hit my bottom in 2018. My options were treatment or to be under a bridge. I had a moment of clarity and thought to myself "This isn't supposed to be me" and went to treatment. Day one was October 1, 2018. I allowed myself to be willing, honest, vulnerable, and desperate in order to stay sober. I worked, and continue to work, a rigorous program and took as many suggestions as I could. I leaned on a Higher Power and it allowed miracles to unfold before me. I learned acceptance and how to no longer take relationships or blessings for granted. Now today my Higher Power uses me to help others achieve this way of life and stay present for my loved ones.”
“Hello, My name is Keith and I’m a drug addict/alcoholic. I am a husband and father to two teenage boys. I am a tattooer, professional boxing promoter, and record label owner. This is my second go around with sobriety. I had accomplished 13 years of sobriety at one point in my life. I lost focus after the suicide of my friend. I went out again for 4 years trying to burn everything I had to the ground. My wife and children brought me back. Hopefully I will make it to June 1st to celebrate 9 years. I once believed that as long as I didn’t do drugs, I wouldn’t do terrible things. But now I believe that I instinctively want to do terrible things and drugs just allow me to do them. Point being, drugs were a symptom of what’s wrong with me. Every day is a struggle and every day is the best day of my life.” @underwoodtattoo
“Hello my name is Jason Kralovetz and I’m an alcoholic. My sobriety date is 6-15-2010. That date is sacred to me, it marks the end of over 10 medical detox’s, 3 in-patient rehabs and a selfish unaccountable life. I think I was avoiding the solution because I knew if I accepted it and quit playing the victim that it would actually work, and I just wasn’t done yet. They say real change doesn’t happen until the pain of holding on is greater than the fear of letting go and that’s my story. Today I live a blessed life full of love and carry message of hope, I have a home group, a sponsor, service commitments, and I sponsor guys in recovery. I have a career doing what I love, I’m a productive member of society, and along with having the most amazing and beautiful woman by my side the biggest gift of all is I GET to be a father, even though I never had one growing up so I didn’t think I was capable. We do recover, If I can do it, ANYONE can!” @jkralovetz
“My name is Grace. My sobriety date is 10/15/2016. God willing I will have 4 years this year! I have really been reflecting on my sobriety lately and just how far I’ve come. I looked back on old photos and saw that I was truly a shell of a person. I had no morals, values, was living in fear & anxiety every day. I had no money, no real friends and I only lived for drugs and alcohol. The road to recovery has been long and winding! There are ups and downs but as I look back, I am so grateful for every thing that got me here today. My life is beautiful! We’re buying a house, I’m in a happy loving sober relationship, I have pets who count on me, family who trusts me- all because day by day I stay sober!!!
“My name is Rob (Fortier); my sober date is 11/17/2013. I started drinking at the age of 13 (am 52 now); drugs followed a year later, and for three straight decades I threw away friendships/relationships, money, opportunities, more money, and eventually my freedom because my addiction got preferential treatment. Though I’d reached my rock bottom years before finally becoming sober, it was through a very close friend who showed me the path to a better life and the realization that drugs and alcohol, even in moderation, served no purpose in my life almost 30 years to the day I tasted my very first beer. To the dismay of many who’ve supported my sobriety, after a year “on the wagon” I realized recovery wasn’t what I needed to remain sober—call me a dry drunk, it makes my sober ass smile—what I needed was to simply put more time between myself and my career of consuming. Over 6 years under my belt with no looking back, I live life with all the pains, sorrows, and setbacks it can muster up, and wouldn’t change a thing...cuz I have the ability now to truly enjoy the good things in life I used to take for granted.”
“Hi my name is @carlos_truan Carlos Truan. My sobriety date is July 17th 2012. For over 20 years I was trapped, caught up in a life of crime and addiction. I wanted to die and prayed every night that I wouldn't wake up. While I was incarcerated I made a decision to turn my life around. I started reading the big book going to meetings and corresponding with other sober people on the outside. I have not let up since. My life has continued to get better and better. My relationships, my spiritual life and my work. I love life and when I go to sleep I can’t wait to wake up the next day and charge! Anger and fear have been replaced with love and kindness. Thank you to everyone for the support and thank you all that paved the way. Our Primary purpose is to carry the message. We are only here to help and show that recovery IS possible.”
Hello all you beautiful people! My name is Sebi and I'm an alcoholic. I got sober 03/29/2015 when I was 28 years old. I lived the majority of my life a slave to alcohol and any drug I could get my hands on. That was my number one priority, the very most important thing in my world. I hurt myself for a long time and I was very depressed and sick, physically, mentally, spiritually. However most of all I was hurting every person who crossed my path, especially those who cared for me. Incredibly selfish I would lie, steal, and let down all who loved me because I simply could not stop. I had a very close friend who turned me on to heroin when I was 16 and he was about 24. He ended up getting sober and was doing really well. Boy was he a mess when I knew him, just how I liked it! I knew he got loaded like me and his condition was no different than mine. I saw that and there was a tiny glimmer of hope. Maybe I could get better, maybe I could learn how to live. One night while laying on a couch by a river in Idaho it hit me. I was destined to drink and use drugs for the rest of my miserable life. There was know stopping it. I knew I was doomed. Right then I started to pray, I surrendered and asked for help earnestly. Everything changed for me. I attend support groups now and try to speak and help others who are struggling with substance abuse. It could be your son, daughter or mother. Alcoholism does not discriminate. I've started to learn to live and am a productive member of society. But the biggest miracle of all is I have moments of true peace. My best wishes and thoughts to all and much love.
“My name is Nick and I’m a person in recovery. My sobriety date is 10/29/13. For years my life was a shit show centered around getting the next one. Eventually I reached a point where I became desperate for recovery. Today I’m blessed with opportunities, to reconnect with my family, I’m getting married in August (hopefully) and I’m back in school. The life I’m living is a gift and I’m thankful for the people God has put in my life, the opportunity to find my path and give back where I can along the way. If you’re struggling, reach out, recovery is possible.”
“My name is Shayla and I am an alcoholic. My sobriety date is 3/28/2016. I struggled with addiction for about 10 years. I had numerous failed attempts to get sober. I had one last burst of hope that I could do this thing and here I am 4 years later. I have found the woman that I feel like I am supposed to be. I strive for continuous growth and often times I fall short, but I continue trying. When I first got sober I went right into the middle of a girl pack and they saved my ass more than I can count. Today I am dependable, responsible, loving, and trustworthy. I am able to suit up and show up. I am so excited to continue this life and grow in my spirituality. I now try to help other women like I was helped.”
“My name is Bill Woodbury I got sober on June 30, 1987 this June I’ll be coming up on 33 years of uninterrupted sobriety. That seems easy to say but it was not always easy to accomplish. There’ve been difficulties throughout my years of sobriety. There has been a total reliance on a power greater than myself in more than one occasion, when human power left. I had a long history of drinking and drug using starting at 14 years old in the late 60s, So you could only imagine what that was like. But since getting sober I’ve enjoyed a wonderful productive life, my wife and I have currently written a book called “Enable-ism” designed to help families that may be struggling during this time of transition. I’ve worked in the field of recovery for 30 years as a front line drug and alcohol counselor. In closing, I have to say it was all worth it even during these confusing times.” Thank you so much @billwoodbury. Please follow his page and dm him to order his book. #Storiesofhope #Enableism #AnthonysAct
“My name is Migs, better known as Migs Whiskey @migs333. A singer-songwriter straight out of Southern California. I’m in recovery from alcohol, drugs, and many other things. I started using and abusing drugs at the age of 12 or 13, got into crime and somewhere along the way I found music. I always felt my programming was wrong because of the results I would get, but I never had a solution. Until I walked into a support group and they talked about this thing called addiction. At that moment it catapulted me into a whole other dimension that I am walking today. I talk about my experience not only in the rooms to support others but through my music as well. My music was inspired by the darkest times of my life. I talk about jail, drugs, and alcohol but most of all REDEMPTION. I am honestly grateful for the life I live today, and I thank God for the life I’m living today. Now I have a relationship with Him but I’m not here to preach about my God. I’m just here to give someone else hope by telling my story. If a once criminal, alcoholic, liar, cheater, and addict like me can change his life, so can you! Keep a PMA and God bless!” Thanks for the inspiration Migs.
Good morning Friends and fam. This is Erika Ball, Founder of “WATP”. Frank, Co- Founder and I wanted to give a huge thank you for the support we’ve been receiving from so many of you during this pandemic. My first year of recovery in 2015, included being of service through the @afsp_socal. Frank and I both started volunteering at different events, setting up booths, going on their annual walks, walking parades, talking with people who were survivors of loved ones who died by suicide and advocating. Last year in June 2019 I had the honor and privilege of being selected to go to Washington DC to attend the Annual @afspnational Advocacy Forum. along w 100s of advocates in the country. We spent 4 days learning, advocating, engaging and meeting with representatives of Congress to make Mental Health/Suicide prevention/SUD a national priority. I took my vacation time from work to attend this event. And although on some days it was exhausting, it felt incredibly magical to be there, especially given my own personal struggles. Had the privilege of meeting former Congressman Patrick Kennedy @kennedyforum who is also in recovery and who is open and proud to speak of it. This work of advocacy is something that we continue to do. We believe that Mental healthcare should be a human right for everyone. And we will continue to fight the good fight for those still struggling, the ones who lost the fight and the families who suffer alongside us. We would also like to ask you to take a moment to sign a petition called “Anthony’s Act” which was created by Cris and Valerie Fiore, the parents of Anthony Fiore who lost his battle to addiction in 2014. Link is in bio. Please stay safe, be kind, we are ALL dealing with life as best as we can. You can always text 741741 to speak to a certified counselor for free. The suicide hotline is 1800-273-TALK. Sending love and peace and thank you for your support!
“Emily 11/5/2018 Austin, Texas. In my early years I grew up in a loving, loyal, upper class family. But by the age of 5 I started experiencing physical abuse which later led to sexual abuse from an older brother, My parents divorced when I was 7. Being the youngest of older brothers, they taught me to stuff my feelings down, medicate, and show up. I started my drinking, and drugging career at 11 years old. By 14 I was the middle man for my brothers drug dealing business, snorting pills, taking hallucinogens, and nodding out in class. I kept my externals in line to fly under the radar from authorities and family. In the midst of all this chaos, I excelled in school, athletics, and at keeping secrets. By 15 I met my future husband who was equally abusive, and or worse. By 17 I graduated high school and left to start my college career. My consumption of drugs and alcohol sky rocketed as my fiancés jealousy grew. By 21 I graduated college and started my job at an engineering firm. Most days praying my makeup would cover the previous nights blows. By 23 I was married and fed up. I spent most of my time riding my Harley, avoiding my husband, drinking, and drugging as much as possible and divorced before I was 24. I detoxed 6 times at home, failed to stay sober, and went from never having a speeding ticket to spending time in Bexar county. Hair falling out, skin broken, soul tired, and detoxing for the 7th time I surrendered. I got vulnerable and asked for help. I detoxed safely in a hospital, and spent three months in treatment. After surrendering and building a relationship with my higher power the promises have come true in my life. I quit engineering to work in the recovery field, and I’ve turned my greatest horrors into assets to help others struggling with our disease. I finally know what a healthy relationship looks like with a man, and my family. I have tribe of people that genuinely love and support me even on my worst days. Most importantly through my relationship with my higher power I have the gift of living authentically instead of hiding behind masks. I look forward to working my program, helping others, and still riding my Harley, sober odaat 🤘🏻”
This is Rachel from Austin, TX @racheylhotdamn. “I just celebrated 2 years sober April 24th. I was adopted at birth, born feeling different and like wasn’t good enough. My parents loved me unconditionally and gave me the world, and even though it was clear that being adopted was the best possible outcome for me, subconsciously I couldn’t grasp that. My own mind kept telling me that I was worthless and would never amount to anything. l was constantly bullied in school ,so badly that I went to 4 different schools in 1 year. By 13 I was drinking regularly at friends’ houses dreading the moment I had to go home.
By the time I was 18, I was addicted to cocaine. By the time I was 20, I was an IV heroin and meth user. Countless stints in jails couldn’t keep me sober, I was loaded within hours of release. I just wanted the pain to stop, but I was completely powerless and didn’t know how to stop using. On April 23, 2018, my Higher Power was working in my life and that was the last day I got loaded, partly because the U.S. Marshals had taken me into custody.
I had never been so relieved to see law enforcement in my life… I knew it was over. Sitting in that cell I admitted out loud for the first time that I was powerless and that I couldn’t stop and stay stopped on my own will. I became willing to believe that there was some Greater Power that could restore me and turned everything over to him. Sobriety has brought me so many gifts, like being able to love and accept myself as I am for the first time, being able to love others unconditionally, and a beautiful daughter. I now get to celebrate the beauty of life with my family and be a channel of hope for others who struggle with the disease of addiction.”
“Rob 12/26/2017. No kid ever intends to be an addict or alcoholic.. When I was 10, my father explained to me that I was adopted. That's about when my "career", as I call it, started. Something changed. Something shifted. I really didn't know it at the time, but it did. I played sports. I was athletic. I surfed, loved the outdoors, rode dirt bikes and later even started racing in my early 20's. I did have a plan in life; a career. Drinking and drugging came easy to me. From the very first time, it was fun, but I was different. I was outgoing, social, funny, life of the party. But on the inside, my core, something lurked. My tolerance was high. I loved excess. I had alcohol poisoning at twelve. Only one other person before now, knows that. Even in high school, my friends said I had a problem. You could call me a piece of shit, and I would co-sign that. But I wasn't. I lost everything and pretty much everyone...literally. My family had no idea how bad it really was, nor I. I gave addiction my life, and I became homeless, even heartless. After many attempts, I got clean and sober. I would again lose it all. I am completely powerless over alcohol, I know that now. What eventually scared me, was that the alcohol quit working. What now? I have been in and out of jails and institutions, and have cheated death. I never thought I would see my 30th birthday and here I am newly 50. God has a plan for me, I don't know what it is, but I shouldn't be here. Through His love, grace, mercy and forgiveness, I am here. I never thought I could get sober, and it took me a long time to attain real sobriety and the little I have now, not just materialistic things either. The desire to pick up has been lifted from me, but I also know that if I pick up again, it all goes away. Including my life. My sobriety is the most important thing. As long as I stay sober, people and things around me get better. I get better. But it takes work. Gratitude is everything. Through DNA, I recently found blood relatives who are eager to meet me, and learn about me, and I in return. It's pretty cool. So is sobriety.” Thanks for sharing @robgideon.
“My name is Meg, I am an addict. On Monday April 20th I celebrated 15 years clean and sober. Prison and rehabs changed me and also molded me to the woman I am today. I made the decision to change my life, to be with my daughters again, to be a Mom. I learned about humility, how to take suggestions, to be able to ask for help. I continue to stay patient, humble, vigilant and maintain an eagerness to change. Loving myself was the hardest and I’m still working on that. There is no way I could’ve come to this point without the God of my understanding. I’m grateful for all of this and what I overcame.” We’re so grateful for you Meg. Happy 15 years.
“My name is Steve “Lucky” Luciano, I was born in West Los Angeles and grew up on the Westside (Santa Monica) I was introduced to drugs & alcohol at a young age and by the early 80’s had joined prominent street gang based in Santa Monica. By 21, I was introduced to the Apparel game (Streetwear) and launched my 1st brand “Supermax” yet continuing to use drugs, with one foot in the business world and one foot in the streets. I ended up being sent away to prison for 4 years and continued to live a life of crime & drugs within the walls of California State Prison. Upon paroling I began building “Joker Brand”. Still struggling with my disease and lifestyle, it eventually caught up to me once again. Facing a 3rd strike in 1997 I fought the case and took a 4 year deal. After 10 months out once again the drugs had won. With help from a friend in recovery I entered a state funded recovery home for parolees called “Walden House” in Downtown L.A. There I learned about my ailment (addiction) which I never even knew I had, I was introduced to a new blueprint for living, a solution to my life. My life changed drastically and I became a man, a father, a son,and a contributing member of my community. It’s been 18 years since I walked into that treatment center and I do not have 18 years recovery today, my personal recovery has been a journey with many triumphs as-well as many lessons hard learned. Recovery introduced me to “MY”creator and offered me an amount of hope that I in turn could offer another struggling addict like myself. I’ve been able to put some significant time. I’m currently living in Venice, Ca, I manage a wonderful Sober Living and I’m active in my community helping people from every walk of life. My career Is flourishing again as a reminder that it is never to late to chase and capture your dreams. Most importantly I’m actively involved in my 2 adult kids lives and a grandson. Over time, being consistent staying the course, I’ve been been fortunate to amend the most important relationships I had once destroyed- with my family & the people who love me. I love my life today and I’ve grown to accept my journey.. (the whole Journey) good & bad because I know it’s what got me here today and given me the brand of gratitude I could never acquire on my own accord. I can honestly say I wouldn’t trade my life for anyone else’s!! Sincerely, Steven “Lucky” Luciano @biglucks17 @thehardluckshow @supermaxhardware
“My name is Paige and my sobriety date is 09/29/15. I am a devoted mother of a 2 year old boy, a loyal friend and a full-time employee of a well established company. My life today is filled with happiness, joy, and structure, but it is nothing like it was just a few years ago. I started drinking and using drugs at the age of 12 and over shot the mark every time. What started out as casual drinking ended up being a daily habit that led to going in and out of jail for the good majority of my life. Also, into the great despair of sticking a needle in my arm. In 2015, I was out of options. I had 4 felony warrants for my arrest, and living in a home that wasn’t mine when I got arrested. I spent a few months in jail and fought a 6 year prison sentence due to the negligence of the arresting officers, which, I like to call a god shot. This God shot was everything I needed to turn my life around. Since then, my life has changed in ways that I never knew possible. I slowly cleaned up the wreckage of my past. Got off probation, paid fines, and got my license back all while working a 12 step program. I had no idea that I wanted any of this or that I even wanted to be sober. Now, I can’t imagine living my life the way it once was. Because of my own experience, I am able to help walk other women through their hardships. The last 4+ years hasn’t always been easy. I am definitely of the educational variety but I am grateful for my sobriety, the structure, the sober support, and to be present in all areas of my life.” We love you Paige. Thank you sharing your story.
“Coming from a place I don’t want to go back to, SkidRow LosAngeles. Growing up in Hollywood joining a neighborhood gang, shot 11 times on 2 occasions’ not saying or making that statement as some bad ass, no. As I stand amongst you not as a man but as a miracle my true nature had to come to grips of letting go and letting God. A lot of people don’t want to hear the God part but at the end of the day I base my life around spirituality that things will be better in this world we live with everything going on and not knowing the Outcome, we as a community should come together and trust the process a process I have been dealing with for a good part of my life. They say when we stop searching we will find a freedom that will free us from all bondage. Have a blessed night a blessed day and keep your eye open for the wake up call. A memoir by The one and only @oglepke.” @soul.assassins @laoriginalsfilm. Thank you for the inspiration Lepke.
“My name is Mary and I'm a grateful alcoholic who has definitely recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. I have a sobriety date of 4/11/2015-the day I was blessed with the gift of desperation. I showed up to the party when I was 15 and I didn't leave until I was 37 years old, and spent most of my life leaving a wake of destruction behind me. I abandoned my child, destroyed relationships, was incarcerated, and made my family members emotional hostages. I was miserable, and hopeless, and often praying for death. Fortunately, God doesn't need my permission to work in my life, and I was afforded the willingness to ask another woman for help. From that moment, I allowed someone to take my life seriously until I could, and I replaced "but" and "why" with "yes" and "ok". By taking action, following simple direction, helping others, and remaining teachable I have managed to tap into a power greater than myself, which has definitely restored me to sanity. Through this process, I've rebuilt relationships many of the relationships I thought I'd destroyed-most importantly the relationship with my son. Today, I try to look for what I can bring to the occasion rather than take-because at the end of it all, my selfishness will kill me before the drugs and alcohol will. There is hope, there is a light at the end of the tunnel-all I needed was a spark of willingness to do something different.”
This is Adam @bakoscumxix from Long Beach, CA. “I started using heroin long before there was such a thing as a pill epidemic. For me, it was just a natural progression that led me to start that drug pretty young. From the first time I used it to the last day I used it I gave about 15 years of my life to opiate use. The only breaks I would have would be trips to jail, prison, or a state sponsored Rehab the parole office would put me in. I have seen with my eyes and experienced things with my soul that some might only thing is in the movies. It’s not. For me it is life in active addiction. I always thought that I would die young but at age 35 I realize that I couldn’t even do that right and I threw in the towel. It has been over six years since I’ve poked myself now and I’ve even come to a point in my life where when I talk about my past it feels to me like I am speaking about someone else. and in a sense, I am. Over the past 6 1/2 years I have built a life for myself that I don’t want to throw away. I have people in my life who I love dearly and seem to love me. I have learned a trade that has given me not only friends but purpose. And I handle anxiety and depression with a combination of throwing weights around and doing a little novice meditating at night. Recovery is different for everyone in fact I’m not even sure that I’m in recovery but I’m damn sure that a pickle can never be a cucumber again and I know that I am a pickle. Meaning if I use once – I’m right back where I was when I cooked up that last shot in union station on December 12, 2013. The reason for me agreeing to write this post when Frank so kindly asked me to is not for anyone’s approval or pats on the back. It’s to let anyone reading this who is struggling with an addiction to opioids or any hard drugs/alcohol, whatever, that this is some thing that CAN Be overcome you just Gotta want to. That’s the most difficult part – you just Gotta want to. Wishing love to all of those who have overcome heroin, those who are clean but still struggling, but especially to those who are currently nodding out at a bus stop because I know you are suffering.” #FuckHeroin
Thanks to our sober sister Christi. “Mar 12,2017 at the age of 36 I gave myself the best gift which was sobriety. I wasn't raised in a alcoholic family, my addiction/alcoholism didnt start until my late 20s which stemmed from being sexually abused as a child which lead to my addiction to numb my pain. Along with my addiction brought on an eating disorder of Anorexia which lead into Binge eating along with over exercising to help rebuild a self worth that was stripped away from me at such a very young age. My life became unmanageable in my 30s going from one relationship to the next to the next; a few became abusive over time and my addiction was becoming out of control. I was partying more, staying out later and later dipped into smoking pot, became this person I didnt even recognize. People would see me thinking that I was well put together. I appeared to have the "perfect life" in reality, I was so broken, filled with hate, rage,unhappiness but never knew why. Finally, September 2016 I met my current partner online. She helped me look in the mirror to face the fact that "I'm an Alcoholic and I need to seek help" I moved from Dallas Tx to Southern California so I could be with her & begin my life in sobriety. I am forever grateful for having her by my side and my support group(s). It wasn't easy turning my will over to God, accepting that I had a drinking problem, accepting what had happened to me as a child and owning "My Truth" I turned my life over to God, was baptized in 2018. Today, I'm grateful for a 2nd chance in life, ability to love myself, ability to stand with confidence, self worth, full set of emotions, the strength to share my story with family and friends. The ability to reach out to another alcoholic and be of service. I have an amazing career as a Massage Therapist, a beautiful son who is 15 months and recently relocated to Austin TX from California back in September 2019. What helped me the most was having a strong,loving support system and always reaching out when I needed it. I've learned it's ok to be vulnerable and allowing other people to see because We have all been there. I am Loving Life in Sobriety!!” #Storiesofhope #openlysober
Good Morning Family This is @frankball Co Founder of @wearethoseppl. Just checking in during this difficult time with all of you, to send out my prayers love and encouragement for all of those who have lost loved ones or have been negatively impacted by the pandemic. I know this is a hard time for us all but even in the grim face of disaster we must be strong. So many generations before us faced uncertain times and world wars and depressions and survived. Especially for the recovery community those of us who have struggled with alcoholism and addiction and mental health obstacles almost nearly faced death and crisis every other day befor we finally got sober and got the help we so desperately needed. So why let this event be any different than what we overcame in the past? Despite the lockdown my wife @erikaball73 and I have stayed focused on our spirituality and consistent with our morning meditations daily devotions attending support group zoom meetings, keeping in touch with our sponsors, family members and loved ones via FaceTime Text messages, emails. We must all take advantage of what technology has to offer and stay connected and support each other, we will get through this. Here in Austin we have many hiking trails and bike paths we have taken this time to enjoy and explore maybe there are some near you? We have also been getting lots of exercise and eating healthy. It dosent have to be a negative time, we can always turn every situation into something positive not feeding into our anxieties and fears , leaning away from the main stream media popular hysteria. God did not bring all of us so far to abandon us now. The world has changed and will continue to change it dosent have to be bad or good it just is. Remember acceptance is the key,if your feeling down please feel free to write me, I’m more than open to give some words of understanding and support God bless you all sincerely “Big Pancho”. #Storiesofhope #Sobermovement #COVID19 #AddictionAwareness #Recoverloudly#soothersdontdiesilently #raiseawarenessnotstigma #eliminatestigma #WeDORecover #Addictiondidntwin #OpenlySober #EndtheSilence
“In 2007 in the city of Paramount Ca, a young man was pacing back and forth in a church parking lot. Strung out on dope this kid was tired and wanted change in his life but couldn't seem to kick his addiction. With a cigarette in his hand and a million thoughts racing through his mind questioning what am I doing here. A preacher had asked if he would meet with him this night. He was unable to sit in service so he walked outside, the preacher followed and told him not to leave. After service the young man met with the preacher in a small room in back of this church and rededicated his life to Jesus Christ. Heavy spiritual warfare took place that night because of doors that were opened, but in the end this young man was set free and left filled with the Holy Spirit. I was that strung out kid and if God can use me, best believe He can use you. This March I have 13yrs clean and your boy is still serving God. Be encouraged. Phil 1:6” -Los @messiahs_misfit_ @srvntz. Thank you for sharing your testimony Los.
“11 years clean TODAY!!! April 10, 2009 I stop running from GOD and gave my life to HIM. Less than 30 days after this my past caught up with me and I went a way for 7 yrs. Getting clean was the toughest thing I've ever done in my life, but it was worth it and more!!I wouldn't be here if it wasn’t for my Family and the friends that have stuck by me.” Thanks @billieth3kid for sharing your story and being an inspiration.
This is Miriam. Celebrating 33 years of freedom from addiction. “February 15, 1987...I was born again. I had hit bottom. In S Dallas on Hatcher/75. I was homeless, jobless, penniless, broken completely. LORD GOD you thought that I was worth saving, so you came and changed my life so I can be clean, and whole so I can tell everyone I know. This year I celebrate w/o #1 my Mother whom was always my cheerleader. I miss you dearly mom.😢😭 But, I know that you are in the cloud of witnesses. Thank you to all my family/friends whom have helped me... Michael Johnson Keshaun Johnson Dwight Matthews Crystal Matthews Pastor CD Knight(RIH)Brenda Benton and Felton, Brenda Hopkins, Sandra Lee, Vanessa Dallas, Paula Johnson...and my entire St Paul Baptist Church Lelious Johnson Carlette Johnson Kimberly Cooper. Last but not least my Sponsor😘 THANK YOU JESUS...TO GOD BE THE GLORY FOR XXXIII CONTINUOUS CLEAN/SOBER TIME. AMEN. “.
“Hi my name is Amber. I have a sobriety date of 5/4/2015. I grew up in an alcoholic / substance abusing family. I started drinking and using at a young age. Anything to make me feel different. I was a functioning addict/alcoholic until the age of 29, until I wasn’t. The last year of my addiction I was in an abusive relationship , lost my job, lost my car, lost my dignity and lost the privilege of being a mother to my children. I acted like everything was fine. On the inside I was lost and broken. I didn’t know how to change. I didn’t want to live but I didn’t want to die.
One night I got on my knees and cried and asked “if there is a God, please help me!! Please!!!”
Within a week a sober friend reached out to me and he got me into a treatment center.
With that I joined a support group and my life changed forever.
Today I have job, I have a car, I don’t feel lonely or sad and I have the privilege of being a mother. I’m able to be here for my children everyday with a clear mind. I am in a healthy relationship! Engaged to a man who would never raise a hand to me and treats me with respect.
I have a God of my own understanding who is the light of my life! I have an amazing fellowship and an amazing life, and for that I am truly grateful.” Thank you sober sister @ambulerfoy. We love you so much.
“Hello Familia, my name is Sammy. My sobriety date is July 09, 2018.
For anyone struggling during this COVID-19 crisis where meetings have been put on hold, there are still virtual meetings to hear the solution... (When I’m struggling) I pick up that heavy phone and call other alcoholics to let them know what I’m really going thru. It was very difficult to surrender and get that willingness to put in the work, but once I decided to stop getting beaten down by alcoholism, it has made my life incredibly better. If you are breathing, there is hope. Don’t give up and give yourself a chance. You won’t regret it!” Thanks @pinchesammyguey. You truly are a miracle.
“When I first went to California (from Alaska) for treatment I wasn’t sure that I even wanted sobriety. I had lost all hope and was in such a dark place that it was hard to see a way out. I had made such a mess of my life and hurt so many people that I felt I was no good for anyone around me, not even my son. Once I sobered up, I learned that drugs and alcohol weren’t my problem, they were my solution to my problem, which was me and my thinking. I was a perpetual victim to life’s circumstances, when in reality, my problems were all of my own making. On October 22nd 2017, after waking up hung over trying to piece together the night before, I realized that the only thing waiting for me down that road was more pain and problems. At that point I knew drinking was a slippery slope to my old way of living and not worth risking the new life I was building for me and my son and I got into action. There have been many obstacles over the years, but I faced by far the biggest one yet last year when I lost my son’s father to this disease. To be able to walk through that sober and be present and able to support my son through his passing was such a gift and an honor. There are days that are hard and trying, but nothing that compares to the life I was living before. I am beyond grateful for my sobriety, my support system, support group and the ability to show up and live a life I am proud of.” Thank you sober sister Taysha @tayshab12. We love you and are so proud of you.
“My name is Mikel sober since 02/22/2014 I’ve been traveling across country thru this pandemic. I’ve found that I have the best sober community in every state and city I stay. I find it extremely important to have that kind of support on the road and especially through these trying times. Taking it day by day and show my appreciation to the friends that support and love me. Be kind and stay positive. ✌️”. Thanks @mikeltattoos
“I got sober because God was kind enough to give me one more chance. I used this opportunity to create the most supportive community possible. And now I am living a dream where everyday is full of good not garbage. Today I am a Doctor of PHYSical Therapy with nine years sober. With the help of this amazing community, we started PHYSrecovery which addresses the PHYSical consequences of addiction. I’ve devoted my life to being of service, sharing my story, and making sure the general community witnesses that we can change. We are not rejects and bad people. We were hurt and did our best to cope. Life is good.” Thank you @dmitryfoox please give him a follow.
American Indian, Southern Californian, Elegant Barbarian. Entertainer, Screenwriter, Attorney, Author & Poet. Sober since April 26, 2002. “We Are Those People” Attorney Mr. Chumahan Bowen @chumahan_ @ovandobowenllp
“My name is Amber and I am a grateful alcoholic.
I have a sobriety date of April 15th 2014.
Today I work a program of honesty. I reach out to women in the program that hold me accountable. I pray to God everyday and ask Him to keep me sober for today and at night I thank Him for another day sober. And God is the only reason I am sober today. He gave me the gift of sobriety and so my gift to God is staying sober, no matter What. Today I love myself I welcome the newcomers and I reach out to newcomers. Today I am happy, I have peace and a heart ❤️ filled with love.” Thanks @amberhintz94 we love you.
"Hello universe As I’ve been in the comfort of my own home for a few days now, I’ve been thinking about some efficient content that could be effective + ways I could help.
I’ve decided to get a little more vulnerable and share some of my journey with those who feel called to listen and maybe need to hear a hopeful story
About 2 years ago I was at a very low point in my life. I tried to latch on to anything and everything that made me feel good even for just 5 minutes.
Alcohol + demoralization were the quickest fixes. I had little to no spiritual life, my friends were getting really sick of my shit, and my sparkle + bounce was really fading away. I didn’t feel like me, the bubbly butterfly I’ve always known.
The universe had a plan for me that I wasn’t even aware that I needed, a plan that would entirely change my whole life, if I was willing enough.
I was so desperate + so willing to see a light that wasn’t fogged by booze, drugs and people who really didn’t care about me. So I leaned into the path of sobriety.
The first few months were so tricky, it was difficult releasing the need to be in control.
I needed so much support to stay afloat because I just didn’t really know what I was doing now that I had handed the wheel over to the care of the universe.
Slowly but surely I started to trust. And when I say slowly..I mean slowly. Micro baby steps.
I had always had an issue with the word, “god”. So I chose “universe”, that really worked for me. Being that I love the earth, ocean + planets more than anything.
The more I trusted the more the miracles unfolded, my life was starting to have purpose again.
I felt like I was exactly who I’ve always been, just clear + more pure. I dug deeper, to meet her.
Now, almost 2 years later I have the tools to maintain a stable + clear head during times of hysteria and crisis..such as these.
I’m no where near perfect + there’s always work to do. But what I do know is that I have the means to help. Help those in need, those struggling with addiction, sobriety, or just anything.
I’ve always had the greatest support system surrounding me through the hard times + the good. I’ll forever be grateful"
Addiction doesn't care about the Corona Virus. We all know it loves to creep in, attack and perpetuate itself when we are the most vulnerable, isolation is it's ally. So in addition to washing our hands, social distancing and being quarantined, we can continue to participate in our recovery virtually. There are tons of online meetings that we can attend. SMART Recovery/ AA/ NA/ Refuge Recovery/ WFS - Women for Sobriety/ Dharma Recovery. Motivational Speakers on youtube, tons of podcasts, yoga, meditation, online classes. The list goes on. Let's stay connected. Stay safe and reach out to your friends and loved ones. Love yall. Here are some links to some online resources: https://www.smartrecovery.org/community/calendar.php
http://aa-intergroup.org/directory.php
https://www.neveraloneclub.org/
https://wfsonline.org/
https://recoverydharma.online
https://refugerecovery.org/meetings?tsml-day=any&tsml-region=online-english